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Handling a higher status, higher energy individuals' mock handshake
I was looking at this video: https://youtu.be/hXiCECDFzps?t=53 where Guardiola does a mock handshake on the referees. He says "Thank you" but implies that they have been incompetent/corrupt.
How would you handle this situation if you were one of the referees?
My ideas:
I.Don't shake his hand.
Advantage:
You would gain power because you refuse his frame.
Disadvantage:
You will appear uncooperative, which is bad for a referee(an unemotional judge which must understand and treat both sides fairly).
II.Shake his hand and say 'We refereed fairly'.
Advantage:
You would maintain some power as you don't mirror him.
Disadvantage:
Because he has so much energy, he might not even realise what you're saying, as he angrily rushes to shake every referee's hand.
II.B. Shake his hand for LONGER and say 'We refereed fairly'.
Advantage:
You maintain more power as you change his frame.
Disadvantage:
You might appear aggressive as you modify the usual handshake process.
I'd probably do the politician move and ignore the hand and pat him on the side of the shoulder while saying something like 'don't worry you'll do better next time'. Like that funny video Lucio had of Macron and Trump dancing around each other trying to do the shoulder pat and point to something move.
In this case, a few more options:
- Shake his hand with more power, looking at him sternly
The way they shook hand in the video, Guardiola was the aggressor.
You'd want to deny him that, and look at him strongly in the eyes, as if you're thinking within yourself:
Fuck you and your stupid bitch-ass complaint
That way, it doesn't look like Guardiola is the assaulting wolf, and you're the defensive lamb.
With those power dynamics, you might as well look guilty. Instead, mimick his energy and power while you outwardly remain polite by shaking hands and congratulating him.
- Shake hands and shake your head
You shake hand and keep polite, but by shaking your head you answer to his mocking.
And you might also put a hand on his arm, as if to say "stop playing that BS game, you lost fair and square, so stop being a bitch".
- Shake his hand, TELL him to stop playing the game
Shake his hand, but don't pretend all is good when you know it's not.
Just tell him:
Cut this passive-aggressive game man
In truth, it would be covert aggressive, but let's not nitpick :D.
Then, if he answered anything, you could end with a more conciliatory tone (from a judge role):
You're a star man, you don't need to do this
P.S.:
Perfect thread man, you presented the case study, proposed your solutions, and added (valid) pros and cons. Nice work!
Thank you for the replies guys. Thank you Lucio for your solutions, they are great!
Football seems to have myriad power moves. Successful coaches such as Mourinho and Guardiola are somehow able to take a group of high ego, high testosterone individuals and get them to achieve results. I find this very interesting.
Anyway, I'll post about 1-2 more of these situations.
One other option. This is an aggressive response as Lucio says the 'bazooka'. Step into the handshake so you re encroaching on his personal space.
Quote from bluesky on March 18, 2021, 9:53 pmThank you for the replies guys. Thank you Lucio for your solutions, they are great!
Football seems to have myriad power moves. Successful coaches such as Mourinho and Guardiola are somehow able to take a group of high ego, high testosterone individuals and get them to achieve results. I find this very interesting.
Anyway, I'll post about 1-2 more of these situations.
OFF-TOPIC
That guy's career could be seen with a "young gun" style of dominance.
He burst into the scene winning, he made his name huge, cashed in on that... and then failed to live up to his own hype.
It's a big ego hit for him, but financially-wise, it's a perfect strategy.
BUT... I'm not an expert on football, so I might be reading that very wrong.
OFF-TOPIC
Quote from Transitioned on March 18, 2021, 10:02 pmOne other option. This is an aggressive response as Lucio says the 'bazooka'. Step into the handshake so you re encroaching on his personal space.
Yeah, stepping into it can be part of that "matching his own aggression", so that you're not -and you don't look like, even more important- like the victim/guilty one.
A successful defense is calibrated, without you going overboard.
As you noticed in your own first self-criticism, not shaking his hand was going to be too much.
Stepping towards him might have been a bit too much, as then it might seem like it's you who's initiating the aggression.
