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Hi, I am Emily. I bought power university a few months ago when I hit an all-time low with being laid-off and not going anywhere career-wise. Career has always been a pain point of mine as I see how others seemingly coast through it while I struggle/sink or swim. Obviously there might be a surface bias (other people don't expose their difficulties/challenges when they are not close enough), yet still, I feel that there was something missing that I didn't get, while others did, and they benefited from it.

I am slowly going through PU and I am seeing more and more power moves around me. For example, a couple days ago I was attending a party and a friend showed up where he patted the back of mine and a few others (dominant move). It took me a while to realize what he was doing but I thought about what I could do to balance the power next time - grabbing his arm, cupping his hand etc. I started cultivating the awareness and practicing being OK with social tension/silence/conflicts, encouraging myself to act upon things (was being pretty passive almost my whole life), and reflecting/summarizing after the encounter. Subconsciously I have always been power aware since when somebody dominated me I would instinctively feel hurt/ignored or otherwise general discomfort. But now it is so much better to be able to see things clearly, it's like seeing color hues when you've been color-blind your whole life.

Now I practice power awareness and balancing power everywhere - at home (with partner), gym (I go to an old-fashioned gym where there are a lot of built/muscular guys when I am a small woman), social life (friends, family members, acquaintances, associates), and career (in the middle of a break when I expect to learn more skills in PU in the next few months).

Anyway, glad to be here and thanks to Lucio for providing this great content, and managing the forum. I would love to learn from you all. I already saw some posts that are relevant to my own experience and will start responding there.

Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and 4 other users have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettAnonKavalierMaya88Bel

Welcome here Emily!

Quote from Rwy on June 22, 2022, 9:38 pm

Subconsciously I have always been power aware since when somebody dominated me I would instinctively feel hurt/ignored or otherwise general discomfort. But now it is so much better to be able to see things clearly, it's like seeing color hues when you've been color-blind your whole life.

Now I practice power awareness and balancing power everywhere - at home (with partner), gym (I go to an old-fashioned gym where there are a lot of built/muscular guys when I am a small woman), social life (friends, family members, acquaintances, associates), and career (in the middle of a break when I expect to learn more skills in PU in the next few months).

Yeah, it sounds like you had the "feel" already, so your progress can be faster because it's more like a string of "aha, that makes sense", rather than having to learn it all from zero.

And super awesome that you're practicing it, curious to read some of your experiences!

Rwy has reacted to this post.
Rwy
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hi, Emily

Nice to meet you! I think it is very interesting to ready about your experiences on power moves and how you tackle them. I too am at the point where I can recognise power moves (which is quite cool already), but are working on how to respond. It was nice to read your post, and to know that I am not alone, also as a female in here :D, and that we can learn from each other.

Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and Rwy have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettRwy
Quote from Maya88 on June 24, 2022, 5:04 pm

Hi, Emily

Nice to meet you! I think it is very interesting to ready about your experiences on power moves and how you tackle them. I too am at the point where I can recognise power moves (which is quite cool already), but are working on how to respond. It was nice to read your post, and to know that I am not alone, also as a female in here 😀, and that we can learn from each other.

Absolutely not alone :), it's actually a close split:

Probably will get even closer to 50/50 as TPM releases more articles for women.

It's just that guys tend to write more on the forum side 🙂

Ali Scarlett and Maya88 have reacted to this post.
Ali ScarlettMaya88
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Ah!🤩 I did not know! That is very cool 🙌👫🏻

Nice to meet you, Emily! Noticing the power moves for me has always been the hardest part, and you are a natural at it! It looks like you are already doing pretty good.

Quote from Rwy on June 22, 2022, 9:38 pm

I already saw some posts that are relevant to my own experience and will start responding there.

It will be a pleasure to get to know your perpectives about everything.

Be very welcome!

 

Lucio Buffalmano and Rwy have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoRwy

Thank you for your welcomes, Lucio, Maya and Kavalier.

 

Quote from Maya88 on June 24, 2022, 5:04 pm

Hi, Emily

Nice to meet you! I think it is very interesting to ready about your experiences on power moves and how you tackle them. I too am at the point where I can recognise power moves (which is quite cool already), but are working on how to respond. It was nice to read your post, and to know that I am not alone, also as a female in here :D, and that we can learn from each other.

Great to know you as a fellow woman TPMer!

I have some thoughts about woman leadership as I haven't seen many successful examples in my own career trajectory. But generally great leadership is far and few between, and women have some unique challenges.

 

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on June 25, 2022, 6:11 am
Quote from Maya88 on June 24, 2022, 5:04 pm

Hi, Emily

Nice to meet you! I think it is very interesting to ready about your experiences on power moves and how you tackle them. I too am at the point where I can recognise power moves (which is quite cool already), but are working on how to respond. It was nice to read your post, and to know that I am not alone, also as a female in here 😀, and that we can learn from each other.

Absolutely not alone :), it's actually a close split:

Probably will get even closer to 50/50 as TPM releases more articles for women.

It's just that guys tend to write more on the forum side 🙂

Yes, this makes me feel even more that we need to have more women-focused discussions, to foster collaboration between sexes (and anyone on the spectrum) and better leadership overall.

 

Quote from Kavalier on June 27, 2022, 6:55 pm

Nice to meet you, Emily! Noticing the power moves for me has always been the hardest part, and you are a natural at it! It looks like you are already doing pretty good.

Quote from Rwy on June 22, 2022, 9:38 pm

I already saw some posts that are relevant to my own experience and will start responding there.

It will be a pleasure to get to know your perpectives about everything.

Be very welcome!

 

Thank you Kavalier. I would say it's a blessing and also a curse when you do have the awareness but not the adequate skills to tackle it yet (as you can be in shock but don't know how to fight back fairly). Glad that we will all be covered by the taking the PU course!

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