Here's what to do when you feel like crying at work
Crying is sometimes not a choice.
On average, men are better at controlling tears.
And some women can also easily control tears.
The fact that most men and many women can control tears make it all the more difficult to those women who cannot control tears. Because those who can avoid crying think that crying is a choice. And that people who are crying are being weak or, worse, manipulative.
And of course, work is still seen as a place where one should remain "professional", and avoid showing too much feelings.
So, all in all, it's best if you can either avoid crying, or limit its effects on your reputation.
Here is how to deal with tears at work:
- Express the anger: sometimes you feel like crying when you have been repressing your anger too much, for too long. Express your anger early and appropriately instead of bottling it up
- Cause yourself pain: some women say that pinching themselves hard or digging your nails in your wrist will distract them from the tears
- Announce the cry: say that you might be crying, but that you are going to talk through the tears
- Announce the cry, and tell them that you expect them to ignore it: announce the possible tears ahead, and that you expect them to ignore them. This is super powerful, you own your tears, while also telling instructing others on how to act around them. It also flips the frame, now it's them who should behave "professionally". Feminine and powerful at the same time
- Walk out: stand u, say you need some time to think it over, that you need some time to process the information, or that you need a break. Go to the bathroom, have a cry, then come back.
- Deliver your piece, then walk out with a mic drop: same as above, but you turn the exit into a win. Samantha here does it in style:
And if you are a man reading here and a woman cries while in a business setting, pass her a tissue and make little of it.