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I told him I liked him, he disappeared. Should I move on?
Quote from Bowden47 on June 13, 2022, 12:47 amHello , My name is Lisa ,
I am from South Wales Cardiff. I'm 46 .
I have a question about a male l,m interested in .
He is older 65. Fascinates me . He showed by body language and through talking he was interested.
So I started messaging via text last 4 weeks... I was upfront and said I liked him . I've become more upfront , As I would rather know on not in the wrong track. He said he was stoked. I thought great. He is quite reserved as it's been a few weeks ...No sign of a date... I asked if he was still stoked. He replied on not going to answer that question. stonewalled for about a week . I would rather him say no . But he has not said this. I made a mistake of just asking how he is ...But he did respond . But l get no questions back . So now I have backed of been 12 days no contact. I'm waiting to see if he will make a point of contact... I'm feeling deflated and that I have messed up 🤷🤦. Or is it a power strategy?
I think I was to forward ... But l,m not sure how to work him out . Or what to do .
I'm at a loss. Do I just wait for him to resume contact. Or draw a line call it a loss?
Admin edit:
Changed the title to a descriptive one
Hello , My name is Lisa ,
I am from South Wales Cardiff. I'm 46 .
I have a question about a male l,m interested in .
He is older 65. Fascinates me . He showed by body language and through talking he was interested.
So I started messaging via text last 4 weeks... I was upfront and said I liked him . I've become more upfront , As I would rather know on not in the wrong track. He said he was stoked. I thought great. He is quite reserved as it's been a few weeks ...No sign of a date... I asked if he was still stoked. He replied on not going to answer that question. stonewalled for about a week . I would rather him say no . But he has not said this. I made a mistake of just asking how he is ...But he did respond . But l get no questions back . So now I have backed of been 12 days no contact. I'm waiting to see if he will make a point of contact... I'm feeling deflated and that I have messed up 🤷🤦. Or is it a power strategy?
I think I was to forward ... But l,m not sure how to work him out . Or what to do .
I'm at a loss. Do I just wait for him to resume contact. Or draw a line call it a loss?
Admin edit:
Changed the title to a descriptive one
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on June 13, 2022, 7:12 amI'd say:
"draw a line, and call it life experience. If he comes back good, if not, also good".
Generally speaking, vulnerable honesty about liking someone is a big move, and can swing in both directions:
- If he liked you, it was timely, and is the relationship type, he'll like you even more and things get a lot better. He feels more secure about himself and the relationships, and chances are high he'll also take a big step towards you, and things move on more quickly
- If he was lukewarm you but it's way too early and he gave you no reason to like him and/or you didn't qualify him at all, it can be a "turn-off" type of chasing (ie.: he subconsciously thinks "why does he even like me so early and without knowing me, she has no reason to, she's chasing badly, this is a red flag"
And the in-between cases where it doesn't really make much of a difference:
- If he liked you and is more the power, challenge-seeking guy, he may lose some fire to chase you and maybe see you a little less valuable (but usually the honest vulnerability doesn't end things just by itself, unless he was only interested in playing, in which case it's no real loss)
- If he wasn't interested in dating, then there is no loss.
So, generally speaking, just to be more on the safe side, I'd advise to be careful with "honest vulnerability of liking".
In doubt, better to postpone and almost always better in person, on a high, and when there is a good reason to.
I'd say:
"draw a line, and call it life experience. If he comes back good, if not, also good".
Generally speaking, vulnerable honesty about liking someone is a big move, and can swing in both directions:
- If he liked you, it was timely, and is the relationship type, he'll like you even more and things get a lot better. He feels more secure about himself and the relationships, and chances are high he'll also take a big step towards you, and things move on more quickly
- If he was lukewarm you but it's way too early and he gave you no reason to like him and/or you didn't qualify him at all, it can be a "turn-off" type of chasing (ie.: he subconsciously thinks "why does he even like me so early and without knowing me, she has no reason to, she's chasing badly, this is a red flag"
And the in-between cases where it doesn't really make much of a difference:
- If he liked you and is more the power, challenge-seeking guy, he may lose some fire to chase you and maybe see you a little less valuable (but usually the honest vulnerability doesn't end things just by itself, unless he was only interested in playing, in which case it's no real loss)
- If he wasn't interested in dating, then there is no loss.
So, generally speaking, just to be more on the safe side, I'd advise to be careful with "honest vulnerability of liking".
In doubt, better to postpone and almost always better in person, on a high, and when there is a good reason to.
Quote from Bowden47 on June 13, 2022, 1:34 pmThank you Lucio , For this in-site Will take this on board. I will keep improving myself with The power moves University and seduction university . Will work on being less vulnerable excitement for the better of me in this one !
I will update if anywhere down the line things start to move .
Thank you Lucio , For this in-site Will take this on board. I will keep improving myself with The power moves University and seduction university . Will work on being less vulnerable excitement for the better of me in this one !
I will update if anywhere down the line things start to move .
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on June 14, 2022, 12:52 amCheers Lisa, that sounds like a good mindset and approach.
And do let us know if he comes back around.
Cheers Lisa, that sounds like a good mindset and approach.
And do let us know if he comes back around.
