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How to come up with good responses quickly

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A follow-up/feedback to @lucio.

I now do the Agree-and-Redirect using the strategy you proposed. I used it with my patients for instance when the parent is against vaccines. It allows the conversation to continue and them to listen to my arguments. I use a shorter format (without the bridge), see below, I'm  putting it again for learning purposes (repetition):

Basically: why the person is against vaccine. I validate their point of view (I understand/respect/agree) and sets the new frame/address the points that arose in the first place.

I'm grateful to you.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 3, 2022, 10:15 am

This is a slightly amended format I came up with.

It combines the lower-level approaches of "gain time" + "stock answer" format while seeking to generalize a response with no specific high-level technique in mind:

  1. Stay calm and collected, which works 99% of the times
  2. Gain time, collect yourself, and display level-headedness with an observational statement, and either add matching body language (for example, corrugating eyebrows as if to say "what the fuck was that"), or only use body language (ie.: "shake your head in disapproval")
    For example:

    1. It's interesting you say that
    2. That was a strange thing to say/do...
    3. I feel that... (that wasn't very friendly of you)
    4. (shake head in disapproval)
  3. Agree with part of their frame when possible, which is the negotiating approach. Of course, if there's absolutely nothing you can agree with, for example with an out of the blue power move or heavy and false accusation, skip it
    1. I can agree with X
    2. I can partially agree with what you say
  4. Bridge: this is what makes your next frame smoother
    1. You make some strong statements here... (however... ) I'm afraid to say that...
    2. You seem to think that... (but...) In truth...
  5. Disagree: explain why whatever they said didn't make sense
  6. Set your new frame
    1. The reason why...
    2. What truly happened is...
    3. The crux of the matter is still that...

Thoughts... ?

Happy to read any feedback, possible amendments or ideas on this.

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