Please or Register to create posts and topics.

How to deal with people refusing to greet you?

Hello guys,

two cases:

Case 1: I have 2 (crazy) neighbours who never greet me despite me greeting them. This time I said it twice looking at him but he did not answer. They're both alcoholic people and are socially isolated.

Case 2: I have a social climber faker female colleague who was not happy to see me at work today. I was on a day off. I greeted her but she did not reply.

I think for case 1 I should continue to say hello but not care if there is no answer. I think for case 2 I should have addressed it: "you don't say "hello"?"


Stef has reacted to this post.

As a general rule of thumb, I tend to think it's better to always err on the side of kindness in any situation where you feel snubbed. After all, you never know what's going on in the other person's life at the moment.

For Case 1, I agree with your assessment. It doesn't harm anything to keep saying hi, and never pushing past that. Just a friendly greeting when you see them is enough and I wouldn't waste any more energy on it.

Case 2 is a bit different, as it's someone you work with and see regularly. This is one where I'd be a bit more cautious with how to follow up, but I'd definitely follow up. I don't know your relationship with her, but if this time stood out then I can assume you usually at least greet each other. If that's the case, maybe address it by coming to her a few minutes later and just asking if she's okay. Usually that will produce nothing, but occasionally the other person will just break down and tell you all their troubles because they were just waiting on someone to offer a shoulder. It could produce a better relationship moving forward, but at the minimum, it will show that 1) you noticed when she snubbed you, 2) you weren't angry about it, and 3) you're still kind anyway. Those qualities are generally worth having and being known for. Another possible solution is to agree and amplify, but in a playful way. Maybe call her 'Cool Girl' or something like that for being so aloof if you have the right personality / relationship with her. The only thing I wouldn't do here is to nip back in a negative way. Even if she's just a colleague, small bits of negativity have a way of building up and turning into bigger problems down the line.

Lucio Buffalmano, Matthew Whitewood and 2 other users have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew WhitewoodJohn FreemanStef