How to defend against condenscending comment

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#11 · June 10, 2022, 5:33 am

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Quote from Anon on June 6, 2022, 11:50 pm

So I wrote a post with several options that I considered for this situation, but after reading Ali's message I had to admit that his is simply overall superior to all of them. Kind of like straight from a textbook (hint hint :D)

@01ascarlett would you mind sharingT what the process/methodology for constructing this response was?

I'm flattered, @anonymous_user, thank you! I was just about to say the same about your post in this thread :).

As far as any formal methodology, it comes down to mostly practice. But, there is a process I use fairly often:

#1. Choose your preferred frame control methods.

Out of all of the frame control techniques shared by TPM in PU, my two techniques of choice are mainly the "agree and redirect" and philosopher's frame.

As my usual go-to, they've worked for me in the vast majority of situations.

#2. Whenever possible, agree first.

It's more persuasive to avoid contradicting your counterpart (and leads to a more collaborative frame), so out of the two techniques, I often do my best to strategically agree first.

#3. Use frame control/negotiation accordingly.

Then, I proceed from there to resolve any power moves or frames I disagree with (which is where practice comes in to play).

Does this answer your question, Anon? This seems a bit off-topic, so if you'd like to dive deeper, we can open a new thread.

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Anon@anonymous_user

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#12 · June 10, 2022, 11:34 pm

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Awesome Ali - thank you for your thoughtful response! Very interesting and insightful.
I know you are currently working on a big project, so I appreciate it a lot.

Quote from Ali Scarlett on June 10, 2022, 5:33 am
Does this answer your question, Anon? This seems a bit off-topic, so if you'd like to dive deeper, we can open a new thread.

It certainly does, the significance of #2 for example hadn't really sunk in with me yet, but I can see how effective this is and will definitely try to work more with that.

A future thread with different ideas and approaches on how to construct effective re-frames sounds quite insightful.

But I agree that practice is key, so that's my focus right now (I'm trying to implement a digital training environment for that, as my day-to-day interactions don't offer enough frame control practicing opportunities. I found your Batman-thread interesting in that regard as well. If that turns out to be successful I will make a thread on that).

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Lucio Buffalmano@lucio

6,304 Posts

#13 · June 11, 2022, 4:42 am

Quote from Anon on June 10, 2022, 11:34 pm

I'm trying to implement a digital training environment for that, as my day-to-day interactions don't offer enough frame control practicing opportunities. I found your Batman-thread interesting in that regard as well. If that turns out to be successful I will make a thread on that).

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Insisting on this off-topic:

Please do share if that comes out good (and if you wish, of course).

And if it grows into something, it may even turn into a product.

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Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?