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How to Handle Your Friend's Girlfriends: 3 Rules to Live By
The general rules are:
1. Be friendly with her, but maintain a healthy distance
For several reasons.
One, is to avoid jealousy.
So, if you have any small gifts for her, always send them through him.
And when you greet her with a hug, make the hug quick and less warm than you'd do with a male friend.
And the second reason is that many women are too freaking volatile.
Today they love you, tomorrow they think you're a threat to her because you're single, because you two are getting "too close" -or whatever other reason-.
And then she'll annoy your friend whenever you plan something with him.
That happened to me recently -how to handle that situation is more advanced and not our topic-.
Generally speaking, I'd even avoid doing too much with both of them.
Without avoiding her of course, but he is your friend, so mainly meet and do things with him.
1.2. TREAT HER & SUPPORT HER LIKE YOU'D TREAT YOUR FIRST COUSIN
Generally, treat her like you'd treat your first cousin.
That means that you also want to be protective and supportive of her when he's not there -or if he's also there but needs some help-.
But once you helped and she's good, then step immediately back.
"Supportive" of a woman has a courtship-sexual connotation, and you want to avoid any sexual hint or frame.
2. If your friend complains or says unflattering things about her, listen but don't confirm
If your friend complains about the relationship -or her-, never say or confirm she's bad.
Especially not if it sounds like normal couple's fights and issues.
Couples always have some issues, and they often go away.
Even if they don't go away, most couples stick together for much longer despite major issues and still manage to have good moments.
And you don't want to be the guy who criticized her or advises to break up on a downswing when things are good and hoping to continue well.
Plus, even when complaining or angry, people still have feeling and still care about their partner.
And, generally speaking, no high-quality guy wants to hear people badmouthing those close to them (and that should include people badmouthing you to him).
Generally speaking, you want to be a friend and supporter of the relationship as well.
When he complains, you can say this:
You: Look man, it's tough for me to comment. As a friend, I'm happy to listen to you talk about it as I'm always happy to listen to anything you wanna talk about it. And I may provide some feedback on the communication or how to handle disputes.
But otherwise, I like you, and I like your GF, and I am happy if you two are happy.
If the GF is really bad and you think she's harming him, then it's a different issue and we're not discussing that here.
And BTW, the same goes for parents and other close friends.
3. Ask about her, how she is, how things are - & leave it up to him what to discussÂ
This is basic emotional intelligence.
You want to talk about things that are important to people, and their partners and relationship are important to them.
If you two are really close, it's fine to ask about general sex topics, how they feel about the relationship, etc. etc.
And you can share first if you feel they're shy or reticent.
But once you asked and shared, don't force the disclosure, leave it up to them.
