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How to make women compliment you (dating for men)

Most guides tell you how to compliment women. 

But wouldn't it be so much more powerful if women complimented you? 

Well, this is the subject of this article: how to make women compliment you. 

And once you can get her to the point of saying out loud that you are a sexy man, you are halfway to bedtime :). 

How to Receive Compliments 

It wasn’t even 10 minutes we were speaking, and she had already told me I was romantic and sexy. 

She wasn’t drunk and wasn't particularly forward either. 

How could that be then, considering I’m not even sexy? 🙂
Well, I led her till the point she was almost forced to admit on the compliment. 

Why You Want Lead Her to A Compliment 

When you can make her compliment you, you bring in the open she’s (somewhat) into you, which does wonders for you. 

Four main reasons why: 

  • We become what we act and admit to 
    As Cialdini teaches us the moment we say or admit to something, that something comes to shape our beliefs and behavior. We humans tend to become what we act and say. So having her admit she likes you, makes her liking for you even stronger 
  • It makes her liking conscious 
    While she might have liked you anyway, it might happen on a subconscious level. Saying it out loud takes a subconscious feeling and adds on top a full-fledged rational, cognizant fact. 
  • It turns the table
    Usually it's men who make compliments. Women aren't used to professing their fondness for someone upon meeting. It might even be the first time she does it in her life, and you immediately become a huge stand out. 
  • It makes the seduction mutual
    Now it's not anymore a guy chasing a girl as it's too often the case, but a girl who couldn't hide her hots anymore. And you become the cool guy who likes her back. Now it's two people liking each other, bringing you two closer. And you know where that should lead. 

Make Her Compliment You 

Women -or anyone for that matter- will sometimes talk positively of a general topic that is seemingly random, but that is instead connected to you, or might be applied to you.

Women will sometimes do that (half) subonsciously as they're getting more excited. 

Turning that general positive talk and making it specific about you is one of the best ways of of receiving all useful compliments you need to further your (social) seduction. 

And if you’re confident she does feel positively about certain qualities of yours, you can outright steer the conversation to a general topic which you will later make specific about you. 

Sounds too generic? It is, that's why that's the general rule. So below for you are some real-world examples: 

#1. Leverage a Stereotype 

While traveling in Korea a year ago a dyed-blonde local girl once sang me “Oh solo mio” in the street outside a club. I thought that was so cool and hilarious I had to record it. 

Fast forward to yesterday, when a bit for fun a bit for social proof I showed the video to my new Korean acquaintance.  She then broached the Italian / Latin stereotype saying in Korea there’s this romantic ideal of Italian men -of course, I knew that: it's international-. Note again that when women enter into those good general subjects on your generic background it's often because they feel so about you in the specific. 

Take that general vibe and make it about you: this is not the time for being humble!

I've been in this situation before, so my mind automatically went: 

Romantic, good.
But not enough. I wanted to score bigger points. So I prodded: 

Me“Romantic and… Sexy maybe?” (devilish smile, light touch on her arm).
She: Big laugh and nod. Bingo
Me: “Well, don’t you agree that’s true”, I say pointing at myself.
She: laughs even harder while nodding and leaning in. She places her hand on my shoulder. 

+3 points for yours truly.

#2. Leverage a Quality of Yours 

  1. If you're well dressed in an upscale bar the convo might go: 

You"And how come you picked this place for your night's reveling"
She“Well, I like this bar because everyone’s so beautiful and well groomed here, it's very classy”.
You"Absolutely, I also love putting some nice clothes and hit the town, what do you think about my sexy outfit” (half jokingly pointing at yourself)?
She"Ahaha yeah it's pretty cool"
You: "Ehehe thank you, I'm glad you think I'm sexy, I love your style too. And what are the plans for later, hitting a club and chasing some more handsome boys?

picture of lucio buffalmano
In a few life circumstances, bragging is effective. In dating, when she's already falling for you or liking you, bragging is often effective.

  • If you’re in dance club and you're a good dance, you might say:

She: “I like fun places just to dance the night away(unhelpful general topic: let's get it closer to you specifically 🙂 
You: “Yes, I believe dancing is a magical thing, it’s relishing your inner instincts and getting in touch with your full body, it’s extremely sensual
She“I agree”
You“And my skilled moves make you a bit excited don’t they” ?
She: "ahah yeah you're a very skilled dancer, I can see you've been practicing"
You "Thank you, you got some raw talent too. I like good dancers because they are comfortable in their own bodies and.." (entering a sexually charged convo here) 

#3. Ask Directly 

You usually don’t wanna ask directly.

Getting a compliment is rarely 100% serious and most often a flirting game. And flirting is all about the hinted. 

But there are always exceptions to the rule. Sometimes you will have a girl on the fence about you. Should you spend more time with her or let her go? 

Rather than guessing, go for broke: ask for a compliment as a form of commitment to you. 

She: I'm not sure, I should go now
You: “Wait a minute, just a minute. (looking at her expectantly) Don’t you think I’m a rather cool handsome guy worth of one more minute?
She“Ahah yes you kinda are”
You “Ahah thank you, I'm glad you think I'm sexy, I like you too. (take her hand) Come then, let’s go” 

Even if it doesn't go that smoothly, the idea is that If she confirms such a positive impression of you, then you know you can keep going and you will re-set the interaction from a much stronger foundation: she just admitted and confirmed her attraction. 

#4. Make Yourself Stand Out Against Dull Men 

In this scenario, you slightly demean the people around to make yourself stand out. Notice this is not done in a mean way. The vibe you're going for here is something "you're so lucky to have found such a cool guy". 

Here are a few examples of how you could do it with your conversation: 

  • Today’s metrosexual hipsters: are those men or some new gender ? (VS you, the more mannish guy instead). 
  • Talk about guys going out in packs, talking to each other and only making a move once too drunk (VS you, the man with the smooth moves). 
  • Those old beer belly guys in the corner staring at girls asses (VS you, with a lean figure… And only sometimes indulging in ass peeving ;). 
  • Talk about the guys in their summer attire of white socks and sandals (VS classy you). 

The mindset is key here. You are not really having a dig at the “competition”. You shouldn’t even think that way.
You’re instead having some fun while complimenting yourself and her -she's the lucky gal to be with you after all-. You are setting the two of you as the “in-crowd”, the cool guys who get it and laugh at the world together. 

You can use the exact same way technique in talking well about positive topics you can associate with yourself. Example, men who give women the experience of their lives. 

#5. Compliment Her For Something You Have in Common 

This is the last one but it's also the very best one. 

Compliment her for something BOTH of you stand out, or something you both care about. It's the best because it will start setting up a frame of "you VS the world". 

For example: 

She: (..) And that's why these days I study all the time
You: I see. It sounds like getting good grades is important to you
She: It is
You: How come
She: I guess I have absorbed that culture. And it's the only way to become a good scientist
You: OK. You sound like you are very driven and motivated
She: Yes I am very drive. Sometimes it can be exhausting, but it's the only way I know how to be
You: Cool, I appreciate that. I really like a driven woman who  works hard to make her dreams a reality 

See all the great moves you have done here?
With your questions you basically made her prove to you.
Then you reward for that. And your reward is basically for being like you are. You make her feel good for being just like you are, which puts you in what's sometimes referred to as "the bubble".

This works especially well if you have previously mentioned how hard you work, or if you will show that a bit later. 

How To Respond To a Compliment 

You need the right mindset to use a woman's compliment to your advantage. 

It’s important, key, and fundamental that you don’t just take the compliment for a compliment’s sake. Don’t be that guy in need of an ego-stroking. 

Even more important, don’t take those compliments as to assert your coolness over hers (I can tell you from first-hand experience: I used to be that guy, thanks God, many years ago). 

This ain’t a war, this is a team’s expedition. You’re the Shepard, and you better make sure you bring both of you along a pleasurable path.

So here’s how you react to a “forced” compliment: 

 What you don’t do: 

  • You DON’T keep aggrandizing yourself -that's ego validation seeking- and 
  • You don’t let the silence drag too long for her to think “oh my god, I went too far and showed all my cards”. The risk is she feels ashamed and auto-reject 

What you do: 

  • You say "thank you", and with a warm tone, because it cements the positive frame and makes it even more real
  • You ask one more question about it, of why she likes what hse likes about you, so expand on that positive thread
  • You move the conversation forward and reward her by finding out who she is and showing appreciation. And you get closer at the same time 
  • If you get to know her properly, this is optional. But you can always compliment her too 
    Example: “thank you, I also think you’re classy. We’re two classy people (smile)”. This also builds an “us” frame which is very good for you (Leil Lowndes also talks about it). 

When do you make HER Compliment You? 

DO: At the beginning
You want do get her to compliment you early on in the conversation or during the first "date" latest.
It's because during that time it's still not obvious she likes you. Having her openly admit she does will make things move quicker for you. 

Better Not: When Better Alternatives Are Available
Have the two you been talking for a while and it's going well? Or is the atmosphere very sexual? Then you might even not make her compliment you and instead invite her to leave with you. 

Better NOT: After you've already had sex
She’s already given your her vote of trust if you've had sex. And if hopefully you’re doing things good forcing a compliment can sound too gamey and could make you come across as validation seeking. 

Absolutely NOT: After sex if you don't want a relationship
Stating her liking "officializes" her liking and might as well make her fall harder for you. And compliments usually beget compliments back (rule of reciprocity), which will push you two closer. If you don't want a relationship you can see why that's dangerous territory. 

Getting Compliments: Summary

If you don’t get the women -and people- around you to verbalize and confirm their fondness of you, than you’re missing out on a great influencing tool which is BOTH flirtatious and effective. 

You learned in this post that you take (or move) the conversation into a general positive topic and then make it specific about you and feed it to her to repeat and confirm. 

Give it a spin when you talk to someone new and lemme know how it goes, I'm cheering for you. 

Yours Truly,

Buchi Mbaebie, Social_Strategist#1 and 5 other users have reacted to this post.
Buchi MbaebieSocial_Strategist#1DMStefnaathh12@gmail.comMaxim Levinskybluesky
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Note: this one of the first articles on this website. I had removed it because I didn't think it was up to quality.

I re-posted it here in the forums again following Ed's request.


Stef and Maxim Levinsky have reacted to this post.
StefMaxim Levinsky
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

This post reminds me of something I sometimes do

e.g: a brief interaction with a cute girl the other day went like this:

  • all that is yours looks spanish I used word that imply her face and body
  • SHE: "why do you think that?"
  • because my eyes do not lie to me and I have great taste in women.

In a way I turned the compliment in a compliment to myself. jejeje

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

"In a few life circustances, bragging is effective. Dating when she's already starting liking you in one such cases"

Lucio there do you mean:

"In a few life circumstances, bragging is effective. bragging when she's already starting to like you is one such a case"

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano
Quote from Stef on August 27, 2020, 9:51 am

This post reminds me of something I sometimes do

e.g: a brief interaction with a cute girl the other day went like this:

  • all that is yours looks spanish I used word that imply her face and body
  • SHE: "why do you think that?"
  • because my eyes do not lie to me and I have great taste in women.

In a way I turned the compliment in a compliment to myself. jejeje

Did you call her "linda", Stef? 🙂

Notice than when she says "why do you think that", she was thread amplifying on your compliment. She wanted to get more, so to make you compliment her even more, and invest more.

Women sometimes do that to make sure that you liking is genuinely about something specific about them, rather than general attractiveness -the former could mean bang and disappear, or at least bang and not invest, while the latter could mean a man who sticks around and invests because he appreciates her-.

But depending on the situation, explaining your compliment might have been a bit too much.

So nice call in turning it into a compliment on yourself, also has a nice push-pull effect, too.


Maxim Levinsky has reacted to this post.
Maxim Levinsky
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

This girl I am talking about, all is pretty about her looks, like really good face and sexy body, the only thing that is not that pretty is her nose, it is not an ugly nose, yet it is not ideal, it make her face look a little funny and more so since she is a goofy girl who do weird faces, and things that are not expected for such an attractive girl.

I feel she is not aware of how insane her SMV could be if she get to manage her public image and feminity a little better

Her generation was full of pretty girls, I think there were so many good looking girls in that particualar generation that guys snobs them and did not treat them like too well since they were abundant, some even get ignored, and that did weird things to the self-steem of some of those girls, lol.

Yes, it is like, If you want your compliments to be high value you also have to control the pace at wich you give them and make them relatively scarce or at least not so abundant, cheap to get and profuse.



Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano