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How to not only get a girl but own her family

Hey Lucio ( the mentor)


Want suggestion from you


New here so apologies if something doing wrong


I have decided to invest in a relationship within a family. They are socially high on status ( just socially) & in my family I'm the only one who have been learning these things for years, but they don't know so the question I have to ask you is that do I have to play save or just go for it to confess my thoughts, as her family gives me so much affection specially her mother who is dominant in family. I know I have to invest more so that I can win her bcoz I know she is the one who will help me in social networking too ( reason I'm asking this to you is simple I'm learning from you).

Do you mean that you would like to get a long-term relationship with a woman who is from a background and family of higher social status and class?

in my family I'm the only one who have been learning these things for years

I'm guessing what you mean here is that you have been the only one in your family who has been actively upgrading yourself.

do I have to play save or just go for it to confess my thoughts

Do you mean confessing about your family background?

Very Hard to Understand & Address This Situation

Without specifics and a deeper understanding of the situation, I think it's hard to understand the dynamics here.

Things like

  • How long you have known the woman?
  • What interactions are you particularly worried about with her and her mother?
  • How will the woman help you in social networking? By her contacts or her social skills?

PS: Did you accidentally make all the words in bold?

Lucio Buffalmano and shoaib zaib have reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmanoshoaib zaib

Thankful! well we are from same family background but I belong to suburb and her family is living in a modern society.

In starting 2 to 3 years ago she was affectionate to me. I felt she is worried on an occasion, So I followed her on Instagram to ask her about her situation but she had rejected my request then I stopped shaking hands with her. Lately Her mother gave me a compliment ( I really feel appreciable for her bcoz she had accepted my true self where her daughter had also words for me that I was really looking nice ) Then I told her mother " She is so special to me " She kissed on my head & introduced me as her son to a female member of ours. wow moment bcoz she preferred to shake hands only, as I had heard from her. Recently her mother talked to me about her personal life and shared why she has been refusing a marriage proposals within a family bcoz nobody has liked her smoking habit.

She is good with people in family ( I feel like she is my soul mate) other hand ( It feels like there is something special whenever we have a last mint of eye contact " that makes me feel like she is supposed to say alot"

3. She is well manner & has all high quality traits even though I have posted on my social media account that ( she has raised by a great mother ). The main reason of asking this all to get a full proof plan. I feel great to have a mentor like you & Lucio. I love his words " pick a right woman or don't pick any" billion dollar advise  ( I'm a charmer seducer type naturally) Good with women in family. Many of them like to share their feelings with me.

( I want them to say yes to me for marriage + additionally wanted to make her fall in love with me ( that's why I'm asking should I play save or just go for a direct confession ( She seems modern but very down to earth like her mother ( I loved it bcoz she will boost my confidence & the real reason for my happiness " I have been concealing my attentions yet )

Guide me here ( my planning strategy)

If I make her father my business partner, will he agree to marriage ( how much partnership raises the yes possibility ( we both have same plans) additional he is willing to help me.

Her mother has a great emotional connection with me, I have plan to share my feelings with her ( that I like her daughter with reasons why I like her so much) 100% to get an easy yes

She ( herself ) I have different idea to make her connected with me ( like Do I tell her I have a best friend & I want her to make her jealous just to put myself in her line ( is there risk?) 2.  I just go & tell her ( you are suddenly become so important to me & I don't know why but I feel genuinely happy when it comes to you ( Amazing one isn't it?) 3. a pick up style " I haven't feel like having a picture with any celebrity but when I see you I feel like having one ( Humorous + playful approach) worthy or not? ( I'm supposed to make her intrigued, as we do have small talks occasionally )

Quote from shoaib zaib on May 25, 2021, 6:55 pm

New here so apologies if something doing wrong


Hey Shoaib,

To make sure you do it right, check out the forum guidelines in my signature.

Those will help make sure you can hit the ground running and be a value-adding contributor to the community.
Put in some, and you can also get out of it much more to fuel your personal growth.

Some more random feedback:

  • Bold: Writing all your message in bold/caps can make people feel like you're trying too hard to get their attention, like they ought to listen to you -and people don't generally like being yelled at-



This is very direct feedback.

It can be painful to hear.

You can either recoil and hate me for it, or you can use it to jump to the next level of personal empowerment.

Only continue if you got an antifragile ego and growth mindset.

Otherwise, skip it, go through the various "Start Here" pages, and come back here later on.

Quote from shoaib zaib on May 25, 2021, 6:55 pm

Want suggestion from you 

Not a good way of asking for someone's opinions.

Without mincing words, it feels aggressive, selfish, and emotionally obtuse.

You want suggestions from someone, but... Does that other party want to give those suggestions?

Realize that everything here is failing the social exchange rules.

You're asking for something without giving, and when you say "I want", without considering what the other party wants, it feels like you're focused on you only, your wants and needs, and that you don't give a f*ck about the other.

Also, it's not power protecting.
You want something from someone, but... Should they give it to you?
That's up to them to decide.

Since the "what's in it for them" is missing here, at least you gotta make sure you phrase your questions well.
Because as you're approaching it right now, you're making people less willing to help you.

Considering the flaunting all forum guidelines, your current social capital is deep in the red.

And you might not care of your social capital in a forum.
But the thing is that the exact same dynamics apply in real life. And it's difficult to go far in life with a negative social balance.


That's a hard-hitting, potentially painful feedback to get.

But it can be invaluable.

It's invaluable because 99% of the time those with the ability to give ignore those who approach the various social exchanges in the wrong way.

Instead, now you got a rather solid feedback on what was wrong, and what to potentially address.

Up to you what to make out of it.

Check out the various "Start Here" pages.
Getting the basics right is far more important than getting opinions on this specific situation.



Edited to make it a bit more "mellow"

shoaib zaib has reacted to this post.
shoaib zaib
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Lucio ( The mentor )

To be honest I didn't realize that. I always prefer a win win situation. I agree that I'm here just to get something without giving something back but the reason is I have nothing to give yet. I assure you I will definitely give back something in return ( as I always do ) I will go & check forums guidelines & details. For you I must say ( wow Lucio.... 1 mint silence  bcoz you owed me with your words )  I'm not here to win from you but with you. well I don't know who else is teaching here but he is respectable for me as he reply bcoz it more feels like a mentor too.Somewhat I have lost my words 2 times at night so I have had to edit. I does it with the flow feeling.  I'm totally genuine ( I'm thankful to you)

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano