How to screen people effectively (for high-quality)

#11 · June 28, 2022, 11:30 pm

Quote from Emily on June 28, 2022, 11:30 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 31, 2022, 10:30 am

This thread is to aggregate ideas and approaches on screening people.

Thank to Anon's idea here.

Screening for what?

Well, generally speaking, for high-quality men / women.

What one searches specifically is subjective.

But a few common traits are common for almost anyone.
Just some of the traits we might want:

High value

Win-win / value giving (VS only looking at what you can do for them without giving back)

Positive and uplifting (VS negative and pessimistic and dragging you down)

Can-do attitude (VS complaining)

Supportive (VS jealous and undermining frenemies who secretly want you to fail)

Smart / "street smart" / power-aware (but not always necessary though)

So, how do we screen for these folks?

Very good list of factors to consider. I also agree with Anon that working to have a win-win situation does not need to be all warm and fuzzy, and sometimes it could be neutral or slightly emotional negative, as long as there is some value to it. But personally I feel long-term the smoothing over/positive emotional value is very important.

I have recently gotten out of a job because the team leader was impossible to work with, and the judgmental frame from her was so emotionally damaging that I had to take some time to recover. But generally this person had some red flags in the beginning that I just didn't catch. Here are some toxic signs that can be observed early on:

Future-faking (grandiose future picturing without any substantial plan/follow-through). Major one and applies to both dating and work. For example, in dating, "We would have such a good future together.."; at work, "In x years you'd grow so much out of this, you'd exceed everybody here including me, you will do so great".

Judging/framing all former partners/subordinates as bad/lazy/crazy people. If a person consistently can't find anyone to be able to work with him/her efficiently then it largely means it is this person's fault. This can be extremely toxic when this person also "love-bombs" you - like "you are really special I know, you are nothing like them..."

Stereotypical thinking: usually means this person has low critical thinking skills, and don't be surprised when they attack you by putting you in a stereotype category.

Below are signs that would reveal after a working relationship is established:

Unconstructive criticism: negative feedback without clarification for what should be done to improve the relationship.

Following the lines of point 1 above, also blaming you for it: "This hasn't been working/you haven't been able to deliver/do X because you have Y flaw".

Toxic comparing: following point 2, "You haven't been able to deliver, but A in our team has been very efficient (where A has 30 years more experience than you)."

Dumping their anxiety/negative emotions on you.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 31, 2022, 10:30 am

This thread is to aggregate ideas and approaches on screening people.

Thank to Anon's idea here.

Screening for what?

Well, generally speaking, for high-quality men / women.

What one searches specifically is subjective.

But a few common traits are common for almost anyone.
Just some of the traits we might want:

High value

Win-win / value giving (VS only looking at what you can do for them without giving back)

Positive and uplifting (VS negative and pessimistic and dragging you down)

Can-do attitude (VS complaining)

Supportive (VS jealous and undermining frenemies who secretly want you to fail)

Smart / "street smart" / power-aware (but not always necessary though)

So, how do we screen for these folks?

Very good list of factors to consider. I also agree with Anon that working to have a win-win situation does not need to be all warm and fuzzy, and sometimes it could be neutral or slightly emotional negative, as long as there is some value to it. But personally I feel long-term the smoothing over/positive emotional value is very important.

I have recently gotten out of a job because the team leader was impossible to work with, and the judgmental frame from her was so emotionally damaging that I had to take some time to recover. But generally this person had some red flags in the beginning that I just didn't catch. Here are some toxic signs that can be observed early on:

Future-faking (grandiose future picturing without any substantial plan/follow-through). Major one and applies to both dating and work. For example, in dating, "We would have such a good future together.."; at work, "In x years you'd grow so much out of this, you'd exceed everybody here including me, you will do so great".
Judging/framing all former partners/subordinates as bad/lazy/crazy people. If a person consistently can't find anyone to be able to work with him/her efficiently then it largely means it is this person's fault. This can be extremely toxic when this person also "love-bombs" you - like "you are really special I know, you are nothing like them..."
Stereotypical thinking: usually means this person has low critical thinking skills, and don't be surprised when they attack you by putting you in a stereotype category.

Below are signs that would reveal after a working relationship is established:

Unconstructive criticism: negative feedback without clarification for what should be done to improve the relationship.
Following the lines of point 1 above, also blaming you for it: "This hasn't been working/you haven't been able to deliver/do X because you have Y flaw".
Toxic comparing: following point 2, "You haven't been able to deliver, but A in our team has been very efficient (where A has 30 years more experience than you)."
Dumping their anxiety/negative emotions on you.

Lucio Buffalmano and Kavalier have reacted to this post.

#12 · June 29, 2022, 4:35 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on June 29, 2022, 4:35 am

Quote from Rwy on June 28, 2022, 11:30 pm

Here are some toxic signs that can be observed early on:

Future-faking (grandiose future picturing without any substantial plan/follow-through). Major one and applies to both dating and work. For example, in dating, "We would have such a good future together.."; at work, "In x years you'd grow so much out of this, you'd exceed everybody here including me, you will do so great".

Below are signs that would reveal after a working relationship is established:

Unconstructive criticism: negative feedback without clarification for what should be done to improve the relationship.

Following the lines of point 1 above, also blaming you for it: "This hasn't been working/you haven't been able to deliver/do X because you have Y flaw".

Toxic comparing: following point 2, "You haven't been able to deliver, but A in our team has been very efficient (where A has 30 years more experience than you)."

Dumping their anxiety/negative emotions on you.

Great list of red flags, Rwy!

Future faking (and grandiosity) is a great catch, common with narcissists and more manipulative and self-serving leaders.
The idea is: "make the follower feel great, promise big, and cover-up the fact that there is nothing concrete to back it up".

Some bluster is helpful to make the team feel special (PU also recommends it), and especially good if the results and the reality back it up.

It's when it's too much, or when the reality doesn't back it up, that it's a bad sign.

Sizzle VS Steak

It's a bit like the sizzle and the steak:

if there's a good steak cooking, then the sizzle and vapors around it only enhance the experience (which is why PU says that a good leader should know manipulative principles as well, as manipulative principles are often the same as persuasive principles, but applied with different goals and in different situations).

But if the "leader" is cooking poor quality stuff and all of his focus is on the fizzle and bluster, then you know you got a poor leader.

Example of "grandiose faking"

I don't want to make it political, but the way I see it, it's a fact rather than a political statement:

A great example of focusing on the sizzle is Donald Trump.

And it showed the most when there was little steak to be proud of (during the pandemic, when all his effort were in covering up and spinning the "America is doing great" narrative, rather than on actually addressing the issues).

Quote from Rwy on June 28, 2022, 11:30 pm

Here are some toxic signs that can be observed early on:

Future-faking (grandiose future picturing without any substantial plan/follow-through). Major one and applies to both dating and work. For example, in dating, "We would have such a good future together.."; at work, "In x years you'd grow so much out of this, you'd exceed everybody here including me, you will do so great".

Below are signs that would reveal after a working relationship is established:

Unconstructive criticism: negative feedback without clarification for what should be done to improve the relationship.

Following the lines of point 1 above, also blaming you for it: "This hasn't been working/you haven't been able to deliver/do X because you have Y flaw".

Toxic comparing: following point 2, "You haven't been able to deliver, but A in our team has been very efficient (where A has 30 years more experience than you)."

Dumping their anxiety/negative emotions on you.

Great list of red flags, Rwy!

Future faking (and grandiosity) is a great catch, common with narcissists and more manipulative and self-serving leaders.
The idea is: "make the follower feel great, promise big, and cover-up the fact that there is nothing concrete to back it up".

Some bluster is helpful to make the team feel special (PU also recommends it), and especially good if the results and the reality back it up.

It's when it's too much, or when the reality doesn't back it up, that it's a bad sign.

Sizzle VS Steak

It's a bit like the sizzle and the steak:

if there's a good steak cooking, then the sizzle and vapors around it only enhance the experience (which is why PU says that a good leader should know manipulative principles as well, as manipulative principles are often the same as persuasive principles, but applied with different goals and in different situations).

But if the "leader" is cooking poor quality stuff and all of his focus is on the fizzle and bluster, then you know you got a poor leader.

Example of "grandiose faking"

I don't want to make it political, but the way I see it, it's a fact rather than a political statement:

A great example of focusing on the sizzle is Donald Trump.

And it showed the most when there was little steak to be proud of (during the pandemic, when all his effort were in covering up and spinning the "America is doing great" narrative, rather than on actually addressing the issues).

Kavalier and Emily have reacted to this post.

Check the forum guidelines for effective communication.
---
(Book a call) for personalized & private feedback