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How to thank your boss
Hello guys and girls,
It's actually a challenge to thank your boss. Why? Because you might look like he's doing you a service.
Boss: this is what you need to do.
You: Thanks!
So he will feel the need to re-empower himself. Which they usually do this way:
Boss: this is what you need to do.
You: Thanks!
Him: Thanks to you! (you're the one doing a service for me)
So here is how I do it now:
Boss: this is what you need to do.
You: Ok. Thanks!
Or
Boss: this is what you need to do.
You: Alright, thanks!
Or
Boss: this is what you need to do.
You: I'm going to do that. Thanks!
Which makes you acknowledge his above you as you accept the task (Ok/Alright/I'm going to do that) and the "Thanks" has more a sub-text of "Thanks for your guidance/leadership". So they don't feel so much the need to re-empower themselves. Often they won't say anything back to the "Thanks" if you acknowledge you are the taskee and he's the tasker.
The Ok/Alright/I'm going to do that makes you acknowledge his leadership as you follow his lead.
Cheers!
Nice John!
Good application of smart power protecting.
Funny and crazy coincidence, I was reading through and thinking "true" and then I thought "if you just add "OK" it'll fix it", and half a second later I reach the point where you wrote that :).
Thank you! I'm nowhere near your level yet but as you can see I'm starting to learn the ropes of power dynamics.
This stuff goes far and deep, though. When I see the kind of analyses you and Ali pull out, it's interesting to see that every word matters.
Hierarchical environments are great practice to learn power dynamics, one can test things and see how they come out.
I must be in the slow lane today guys why the thanks?  I get acknowledging his authority. Normally I say can do or will do or on it to acknowledge that anything from him has priority. I don't get is why you have to say thanks when he's just tasked you
Because he helped me. Situation:
I'm with this patient and don't know what to do. I'm proposing what I would do and ask him for his advice/recommendation. He gives it to me, so I thank him. Culture also might play a part in it. Swiss culture is all about politeness.
Hi guys,
I was rereading this thread and I have a question: what if the "boss" is a client (let's say a CEO or an entrepreneur)?
Situation is: I send him my invoice, and he answers with:
Client: Thank you Bel.
I used to not answer, or to answer in a submissive way.
Now, after learning from the threads here on not being submissive, on vibing and on acknowledging emotional bids, I am starting to answer with
Me: Thank you, X.
Talk soon
Am I disempowering him and implying he is doing me a service? Because that's not my intention.
My take: it's just a polite way of saying "thank you for thanking me", and he's unlikely to interpret it as "I want to have the last word" or as "I'm not at your service" (which was one of my fears that motivated my staying silent on receiving "thanks").
Hey Bel, I think it's cool. It's not disempowering to him at all. Thank you in this case is just a phatic expression, and a small thing that is important to maintain rapport.
The "thank you" power move I think is when the context or the speech implies that the other person was doing some subservient task for you, which is not the case.
EDIT
The "talk soon" part, though, might imply that the power is on your side, that is, it might imply that you choose when you contact him. If he's your boss, you might highlight instead that it was you doing the service: "Thank you, boss/X (the way he prefers to be called), I'm here if you need anything else".
But if he's a boss, but not your boss, I believe there's nothing wrong with just the "thank you".
Thank you Kavalier.
It's great to have your comfort here!
Edit: I see your comment on the "talk soon" and that it may be better to avoid it! I think it's spot on, and I was lately starting to get a similar impression but unconsciously.
Just today I had this very thought in another written conversation: "If I put "talk soon" here, I will be basically saying to this person that I don't want to talk with him anymore for now. So best to avoid".
I'll switch back to "kind regards" or, as you suggest, just "thank you, X".
Off topic: It would be interesting to discuss the dynamics of "closing greetings" in written text, I am always baffled for example when clients write "regards" instead of "kind regards". My thinking is that omitting that one word signals something, but I find many people do this. Maybe on another thread.
I also think it's fine.
And if the conversation was indeed finished, I actually think that "talk soon" is good to have just to avoid that "thank you" stands on its own.
If it stands on its own, "thank you / thank you"Â feels like one of John's threads on "perfect" and feels odd -or like you may want to have the last word indeed-.
Thank you so much Lucio, it’s very helpful!
