Please or Register to create posts and topics.

How to turn the "I'm romancing you" to "we're romancing together" (text example)

I remember in my first relationship my girlfriend loved to ask me "how long we'd be together" to hear me say "for ever" -face palm, and LOL, the last famous words :D-.

Why am I saying this to you?

The reason is that many women ask men for "confirmation", which is a form of commitment, and makes the man commit a bit more.
And many men are happy to provide it, and everyone's happy.

Here is one more example:

Her: we look good together, don't we?
Him: are you kidding me? We look the best, not good

In the end, it's not too bad, especially in relationships.

But in dating, especially in early dating, and especially when escalating to sex, it's better to add one step.
You add one step and have her agree with you, rather than you providing her with her confirmation.

It works like this:

  • She says something
  • You don't agree or contradict, but add something and turn it back on her
  • Have her agree with you

That makes her an active part of the seduction, makes her invest more, and importantly, it makes you the leader of the interaction.

See here an example from a Tinder chat:

text dating technique

It turns the interaction from a "romance where I'm chasing you" to a "romance where we're both participating in it".

If I wanted to follow up on that, I would say "I'm glad we agree :)", and then move forward from there.

And this is another big theme of ThePowerMoves: "we're in this together" is always the superior frame when it comes to any kind of relationships.


I use variations and more advanced versions of this technique all the times, and it works like magic.
For example, a girl might say:

Girl: I don't want to go to your place, or you will want to have sex with me

This is high danger, and many guys get it wrong here.
What you want to do is to change her frame into something she can agree with, but without backtracking.

So I might say:

You: I probably would, because I like you. And would be wrong with that.
(but if you stop here, you're screwed and it becomes a battle of wills that you're going to lose 95/100. So you add the second part she agrees with)
Sex is one of the pleasures of life, especially when two people like each other. It's one of the defining traits of love, and love is a beautiful thing. I love love and romance. Love and romance are awesome.
Don't you also like love and romance?

Deny that, and you're basically saying you're a cold-hearted frigid.
So, most women will just go along with it, which also provides you with the intellectual dominance that helps you move the interaction forward.

selffriend has reacted to this post.
selffriend
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hey Lucio,

I just got through season 1 episode 2 of the new Netflix Series Love Is Blind and saw a situation similar to yours between a man named Barnett and a woman named LC. Here it is:

Barnett: Okay, real quick. Whenever I propose, what do you think about like, non-diamond rings?

LC: Oh yeah, I'd love that.

Barnett: Really? Okay.

LC: Alright, well. You gotta do it.

Barnett: Yea?

LC: *chuckles* Yup.

It seems that LC was trying to get Barnett to commit to giving her a ring and proposing. Instead of just saying "yea" what could Barnett have done better here?

Thanks,

Ali

*Context of the show: On Love Is Blind, 15 men and 15 women are separated into separate dormitories and at first are only allowed to communicate with each other from isolated pods that prevent them from seeing who they’re talking to. The prize, in this case, is marriage. Love Is Blind aims to suss out whether or not love transcends concepts such as race, age, and physical appearance by having couples get engaged without ever laying eyes on each other.

Processing...