Quote from Ali Scarlett on December 11, 2023, 9:24 pm

See a quick definition here:

Definition: "The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological phenomenon where an individual who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor."

One way people have suggested you can leverage this psychological effect is by asking people for a favor in situations where you believe that doing so will cause them to like you more.

However, since those situations can probably be difficult to identify, I think an even more strategic application could be to simply ask for a small favor that won't put you too far in social debt, but would be either a compliment to them or potentially value-giving in the future (or both).

For example, if you don't know the story, here's how Ben Franklin himself used this approach:

In his autobiography, Benjamin Franklin recounted an incident where he employed a diplomatic approach with a political rival who held a position of influence.

Firstly, Franklin wrote a letter to his rival expressing admiration for the extensive collection of rare books in the rival's library (emotional value-giving: giving an honest compliment). In the letter, he not only sought the rival's advice on selecting good books (more emotional value-giving: complimenting his knowledge and taste in books—and employing common ground by implying he shares that same great taste) but also indicated that he had a "good purpose" in mind. This framing suggested that Franklin's request for a book was not just for personal enjoyment but for a noble or beneficial cause (now, while the rival has no incentive to help Franklin, the politician does have an incentive to help the cause, so he may be more willing to comply).

Following this, Franklin took it a step further by directly asking the rival for the favor of borrowing a specific rare book (by making it specific and rare, the favor becomes big enough to trigger positive cognitive dissonance, and by keeping the favor small—only asking for a book—he avoids going into too much social debt).

The rival, flattered by the request and the acknowledgment of his expertise, as well as believing in the "good purpose" behind the request, granted Franklin's wish.

Franklin promptly returned the borrowed book with a note expressing gratitude (another social exchange win).

The outcome was a shift in the dynamics of their relationship, with the rival displaying more positive attitudes and behaviors toward Franklin.

A more modern example could be if you're working on a group project with a colleague, and you notice that they have a particular skill or expertise that would be beneficial to your part of the project. You could ask them to take a look at your work and share their thoughts.

If you do it well, you'll be hitting on many of the points above:

• Emotional value-giving: if you ask in a way that acknowledges their skills and expertise (complimenting them and indicating that you value their opinion).
• It's already for a "good (enough) purpose": in this case, the benefit of the company (which is the team's overarching goal anyway).
• You're only asking for their thoughts/advice: which keeps the social debt small.
• You express gratitude after: a WIIFT win. Also, gratitude for behavior encourages more of that behavior (in this case, encouraging positive/value-giving behavior from them).

How I Used the "Ben Franklin Effect" to Network

In this case, it was unintentional, but no less effective.

I was nearing the end of my second meeting with someone, a lawyer who had just started a business he was trying to get off the ground.

By the end of the meeting, I'd decided that I liked him and our conversations had gone well, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help him.

He paused, said to himself, "You know what, I'll never receive if I never ask," and started to tell me about his online eCommerce store.

He shared his screen and walked me through it.

Everything was quite expensive and I even suggested he might be pricing himself out of the market.

But, he explained that the products have to be priced that way because customers are getting more out of what they're paying for. (And many of the products did indeed seem to be high-quality.)

So, before making any big financial commitments, I asked without any expectations, "Would it be possible for me to get a free sample (to help me decide)?"

He paused, as if unsure and it seemed he had never done this before. (Maybe he was making an exception for me.)

But, then he said "yea, sure" and sent me a box full of free stuff. (BTW, I had only asked for one sample of one product, but he said he couldn't just send a mostly empty box—the guy's a giver :).

One of those products was a CBD oil he said he uses for his constant neck pain.

So, I made a note of that and then sent him one of those fancy massage guns people seemed to like as a surprise thank you.

To this day, we're still great friends and he's given me a lot of value throughout our relationship (including free legal advice and introductions).

Note: Also see "How To Request Help or Advice To Influence the Other Side" in John B. Ullmen's Influencing Others course.

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By the way, one item he talked about was his store's mouthwash and he mentioned that most mouthwash is mostly water.

He also texted me about it later after that meeting:

If you can't read the exact numbers, just know that it pretty much tracks with the popular information online:

And yet, if you remember from the rational thinking test, maybe we aren't supposed to use 100% active ingredients in our mouths.

But, it can feel good to catch the "crooked company selling snake oil" with someone even if it turns out they weren't being crooked at all, they were just following recommended guidelines (which is why it's important to use critical thinking skills).

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