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How Would You Handle the "You Have Lots of Secrets" Power Move?
Quote from Bel on January 8, 2022, 9:06 pmIf you don't understand what is happening, or if you don't know how to respond, you are not non-reacting, you are being played.
Big yes to the full message.
And this passage was particularly quote-worthy.
Quote from Matthew Whitewood on January 8, 2022, 9:47 pmI wanted to ask whether if I detected yellow power moves at the start, should I
- Go stronger (more dominance)
- Tide over the conversation with warmth and collaborative frames
From this specific dinner, I started out with dominance then moved to warmth and collaborative frames (fun and light-hearted as well).
I do realise a very good benefit of doing so.
The power moves (at least towards me) dropped to almost zero throughout the rest of the dinner.
And I ended up influencing the collaborative frames much more.Albeit, in this situation, I sensed that I could go more dominant without getting pushed back.
I think it also depends on how confident you are that your value will come across later on.
If you're not sure, then addressing it might be best.
If it's a small yellow thing and you're confident that time will tell you're an eagle who let it slip because of superiority, rather than defenselessness and cluelessness, then you can skip it and focus on value-adding leadership.
But just to be sure, in this case, you still did great -plus with the info you added then things went smoothly and friendly later on, well... Rock on, great job-.
Another option is to address with body language. Not my strong suite but many guys use it well Couple I can think of.
Put a hand on his shoulder look at the other guy smiling with a headshake and say 'this guy'
Rock back on your feet like a boxer taking a punch and say. with a smile '...is taking no prisoners today'
Your kind of pointing out you get it and are playing along. Along the lines of what Bel said as long as your showing you see the game and can play I don't think it matters what you specifically say or do.
I think how is more important. Step a bit closer to them and talk softly. You don't want any element of backing off. And I think that sets that vibe of we re enjoying a little in-group joke.
Like I said not my strength so I d be interested in your guys thoughts.
