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“I am glad we agree" power move

Hello Lucio,

studying your course, I came across the "I am glad we agree" power move after your frame was controlled and accepted, for example in text messages. I found this move to be very clever.

Because what you are actually saying is: "I am glad that you're accepting my frame". Would you care to expand on that please? Because I think it's a very important power move: to lock the power dynamics in your favor.

Yep, you got it.

Good observation.

It locks down the new frame, it reminds us that we both agreed, and it serves to restore goodwill -from a position of power-.

I also do it verbally.
And in person, I also often accompany it a "cheers" (if there are glasses), a kiss (if it's man-to-woman post intimacy), a pat on the back, or anything else physical that further reinforces the new deal and that serves to re-install a collaborative frame and foster a good mood of "winning together as a team".

Frames that you won by destroying others are tenuous because people never really buy into it. So they will want to renege on the agreement -or find ways to get back at you in some other ways-.
Both frames and deals that have been accepted by both and in a spirit of win-win collaboration are frames and deals that hold.

Good or bad? It's neutral

As for most things in power dynamics, it can be used for good purposes, or for not-so-good ones.

If the deal or the frame were truly win-win, then it's a value-adding power move.
But it can be manipulative if it damages the target.

So if you are on the receiving end of it, it pays to quickly review what you just agreed on.

And be especially careful if you haven't actually agreed on anything yet.
This power move can be used to "jump the gun" on the agreement, rush to the conclusion, and try to force good feelings and collaboration before there was any agreement or any win-win agreement.

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