Quote from B on February 10, 2023, 10:48 am

Hi Guys,

I was reflecting on this common phrase in my language:

I ask you for the courtesy of...

I found I frequently used it even in cases where I was not asking for a courtesy, but for something that was necessary for me to perform my work.

One example: as a lawyer, I need to identify new clients and store a copy of id documents.

I often ask for these - not at the outset, but - just before signing my letter or work, and I often write something like:

For the purposes of the obligations of identification of clients and assisted parties, I ask you for the courtesy of sending me a copy of your ID document.

Now I'm thinking that using this phrasing may amount to reinforcing the frame that I'm inconveniencing the client with useless requests, when in reality this is a necessary step.

Another example: when sending a proforma invoice, I sometimes write:

I ask you for the courtesy of sending me the electronic code to which I'll issue the invoice.

But again it's not really a courtesy I'm asking, but something I need to issue the invoice.

My take:

yes, using the wording above reinforces the "inconveniencing you" frame.

So best avoided and replaced with

For the purposes of the obligations of identification of clients and assisted parties, I'll also need a copy of your ID document.

and

I enclose the proforma. I'll issue the invoice at payment, at the electronic coordinates you will provide me.

EDIT: This seems a case where using "too kind language" can backfire badly. Better to be less "power-protecting" and more direct, at the cost of appearing less "courteous". Or maybe there is a sweet spot I'm not seeing yet.