Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
"I went to lunch with your boss" power move
A former colleague once told me that.
Think what it sub-communicates:
I went to lunch with your boss =
I'm close to the person who is above you and has leverage on you, which means I am probably also above you, and also have leverage on you
What makes it more of a power move is that they could have said "I went to lunch with (boss name)".
Instead, they went most blatant possible form of hierarchical rank -"your boss"-.
Also similar:
"Your boss is also coming" power move
Another time towards the end of a company event a group of people was taking the party somewhere else.
And the HR girl trying to convince me to go said:
Her: Your boss is also coming
What that sub-communicates:
The person who has leverage over you is coming, so you not coming is an opportunity loss at best, and a bad signal you may not want to send to him
Plus, consider it's a woman saying that, to a guy.
The sub-communication may also be:
"(in case you're interested) you're in a very challenge race because the guy who's higher power than you will be there (you better be there to at least keep your already little hopes alive)"
My reply:
Me: (sitting), nah, thanks, go, go (tapping her behind with one of those colorful party trumpets, a dominant and babying move)
Can't lie, back then I thought that was a super boss power move :)
That would have been way too much in a normal setting.
But considering it was a party, later at night, after more personal talk among people, and considering most people were inebriated (me included), it was "appropriate enough" for the setting and a good comeback.
Both power moves were really helpful to me, though.
They drove home even more clearly that my boss at that time was someone I had little respect for.
Having a third party power move me through another third party I had no respect for was a wake-up call that I truly had to change something.
Yeah I experienced this one not exactly like that but the the subcommunication of "I have influence over the person who has leverage over you".
Any PM will tell you delivering projects for HR is the toughest. Maybe having to treat people as resources and rightspeak for the company just naturally produces high Machs
Interesting thoughts, Transitioned.
A colleague of mine (attending physician since a year) is leaving our big hospital because of the way he has been treated by HR. Not by his direct bosses, by HR. Basically he was on sick leave for a couple of weeks because he has 4 children and could not keep up with the crazy pace of his new role (heavy schedule, constant over time, high pressure, low recognition). His physician put him on sick leave. So he got bullied by the HR department basically. It went quite far from my understanding.
He got summoned by the department head physician, not directly but through HR. So definitely.
