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If she thinks you're too old (moving away from their judge role without disempowering her much)
Coming to think of it, dating as a frame is terrible because the 'society approved' way dictates the woman has the judge role. Who pays? the guy Who is 'getting an audience'? the guy. Who gets shit tests? The guy. But I digress. This is a power-neutral to reframe a point in the conversation where the woman may say 'you are too old for me' (judge role, shit test).
This is what I'd say:
You may have noticed that I'm a man, not a woman
I feel I'm still far away from my peak attractiveness. As I age, I get more attractive. Not sure this is true for all men, but it is for me
(this will make her think: shit, as a woman I am well past my peak attractiveness! I read somewhere for women it was 26)
You don't say it. You imply it with 'I'm not a woman' (if I were, what I'm going to say next is not happening lol)
She could take the hint and not push the age thing, which is good for the conversation. Shit test passed (she was testing your confidence). But the beauty of that sentence is that you are leaving it open for her to compliment you! If she's socially skilled, and into you, she can move the conversation (and interaction) forward by saying:
I agree, you look great
Or
I'm looking forward to see you when you reach peak attractiveness
Hints at a future together, which is a big investment signal for her.
I haven't tried this at all, it just occurred to me. What do you (power aware) guys think? If there are any girls reading this, I'm very interested in your reaction. Do you feel disempowered by that comment (not the intention, but if that's the effect then it's not a good comment).
You may have noticed that I'm a man, not a woman
I feel I'm still far away from my peak attractiveness. As I age, I get more attractive. Not sure this is true for all men, but it is for me
Imagine if you told a girl she is a bit chubby for you and she goes on to say how she is working hard in the gym these days and it is only a couple of months until she is skinny.
What would you think? The girl is qualifying herself to you. It is similar in case of this age response except it's age and not chubbyness.
If a woman says "you are too old for me"
One response could be
"I am, Do you have any experience with older men?"
Now if she says no it will be come across that she is getting rejected because of lack of experience.
She can't say yes because that would betray her test of "you are too old for me".
She won't say " I prefer men a bit younger than you" Because if she was testing you she was interested and won't shoot herself in the foot.
Usual disclaimer I m old and wifed up.
But this sh1t test is old as hills.
Main thing here is to deal with it quickly then change topic. You don't want to thread expand on a topic that could be negative for you.
Couple of options
Turn tables GFs version was better
Yea I know that your not as experienced as me but I like that freshness.
Mine is all in the delivery. You want to go slow on the first part and look a little concerned and then be really upbeat on the second like you ve moved past it and are willing to give her a chance. Or you could sound like you re trying to convince yourself still and she has some work to do.
Or topic reject.
Hey that's a bit serious. We re having fun
Now that holiday you had in Maui sounded amazing tell me more
Basically your calling her out on killing the fun vibe.
One old PUA cocky/funny trick I d pull on topic rejecting when I was in a cheeky mood.
I like salad.
And when she gives you the wtf look.
Oh, so...rry I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter
There s a lot more to this topic. I will let the young guys kick in first
LoF,
That has very little to do with "society approving".
Probably as much as "society approving" of men monopolizing the top power positions and the billionaire lists.
For more resources:
- Sexual market place dynamics, which is pretty much similar to any other exchanges among humans: based on value exchanges, costs, opportunity costs, etc. etc.
- Power phases in dating
As for the actual shit test, Growfast and Transitioned's answers are golden.
Good point Lucio, not much to do with 'society approving.' Still my point is that the dating frame puts the man in a weaker position. All other things equal, if you can frame the meeting as 'not a date' (example social circle stuff), you don't have all these disadvantages. But then transitioning to a sexual frame might be harder.
Growfast, thanks for the response, I agree that this may work better, and your metaphor with the overweight girl is golden.
"I am, Do you have any experience with older men?"
Transitioned, good one!
Oh, so...rry I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter
In fact it doesn't matter, and bringing attention to this is smart.
I'm not sure why I bother with this situation as it doesn't happen to me often enough. I guess I wanted to be prepared in case it happens. I tried to find stats of age difference preferences in women and got conflicting numbers, from single digit to 50% preference of much older men.
Also don't freak out. I get tested on age as a younger guy in the game, but frfr take into account people vote with their actions and bodies. Even if the response doesn't come in the moment or you do something a bit subpar just being relaxed or at a minimum not freaking out can be enough to pass a frame grab and give yourself time to set better frames.
Or if you are lucky this isn't a frame grab, but instead a light test or sometimes just a thread she is thinking of.
One other treat I can give you and add to why Growfasts reply
"I am, Do you have any experience with older men?"
Some "shit tests" that may trigger men into lower value qualifying are actually moments women are attempting to intellectualize why they like you...this comes with the caveat that you have to be further along in the interaction usually for this to make sense as an interpretation, but if you're outside of her normal type but she is attracted to you this can be exciting and a little confusing to her leaning in like growfasts allows for her to spell out where her mind is
good shit
