Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
If you must interrupt: make it quick and give back the floor (Charlie to Ben)
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 1, 2022, 7:09 pmGenerally speaking, interrupting disempowers people.
So if you interrupt, it should be for a good reason.
And, generally speaking, you want to power protect when doing it.
Some ways:
- Say "I totally agree" and jump in -the "totally agree" gives value before taking value-
- Say "sorry, sorry" and jump in if you disagree or must add important information
- Say "sorry if I interrupt for a second" and jump in
- Jump in and then say "just wanted to add this very quick, sorry"
And the delivery of the interruption:
- Build on what the other person said, so it feels like a continuation
- Talk faster to end sooner and show you're aware and respectful that you're on his time
I feel Charlie sometimes disempowers Ben when interrupting:
https://youtu.be/ZL4kQBvV_xI?t=1379
Ben: (talking seriously) you don't wanna work extra hours, you'll have to tell them you're gonna leave at 5..
Charlie: (interrupts to make a joke) my last girlfriend was way better than me (...)
Ben: (doesn't resume his tread but builds on Charlie's joke and starts when Charlie had done his point and was almost done) you're much prettier than most people I go out with...
Charlie: (does't wait for Ben to finish) I just wanna sleep with you once and never speak to you again, but I'm gonna pretend on this dinner to be interested in you (..)Ben most waits for Charlie to be done, while Charlie doesn't.
In the first instance, Charlie also interrupts Ben to tell a joke while Ben was speaking seriously. That felt like a big shift and made the interruption more disempowering.
Charlie seeks to interrupt twice more after that, but Ben correctly defends his speaking time then.
Not too bad overall as the two were both talking informally and when speaking informally and for fun, interruptions are far more normal and OK.
Still, I think Charlie could have used some more tact here.
In the last instance of the transcribed dialogue just a simple bridge such as "yeah, yeah, exactly" and then launching into his new branch out would have worked fine.
Generally speaking, interrupting disempowers people.
So if you interrupt, it should be for a good reason.
And, generally speaking, you want to power protect when doing it.
Some ways:
- Say "I totally agree" and jump in -the "totally agree" gives value before taking value-
- Say "sorry, sorry" and jump in if you disagree or must add important information
- Say "sorry if I interrupt for a second" and jump in
- Jump in and then say "just wanted to add this very quick, sorry"
And the delivery of the interruption:
- Build on what the other person said, so it feels like a continuation
- Talk faster to end sooner and show you're aware and respectful that you're on his time
I feel Charlie sometimes disempowers Ben when interrupting:
Ben: (talking seriously) you don't wanna work extra hours, you'll have to tell them you're gonna leave at 5..
Charlie: (interrupts to make a joke) my last girlfriend was way better than me (...)
Ben: (doesn't resume his tread but builds on Charlie's joke and starts when Charlie had done his point and was almost done) you're much prettier than most people I go out with...
Charlie: (does't wait for Ben to finish) I just wanna sleep with you once and never speak to you again, but I'm gonna pretend on this dinner to be interested in you (..)
Ben most waits for Charlie to be done, while Charlie doesn't.
In the first instance, Charlie also interrupts Ben to tell a joke while Ben was speaking seriously. That felt like a big shift and made the interruption more disempowering.
Charlie seeks to interrupt twice more after that, but Ben correctly defends his speaking time then.
Not too bad overall as the two were both talking informally and when speaking informally and for fun, interruptions are far more normal and OK.
Still, I think Charlie could have used some more tact here.
In the last instance of the transcribed dialogue just a simple bridge such as "yeah, yeah, exactly" and then launching into his new branch out would have worked fine.
