If you push & get rejected, take a step back quickly to prevent festering (text example)
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 27, 2020, 5:16 amThe rules of thumb are:
- If you made an offer, don't renege on it, or you lose power
- If you are pushing after a rejection, keep pushing until it's a clear yes or no
- If you texted once and she doesn't reply, avoid double texting in quick succession
However, as I often repeat in Social Power, "rules of thumb" are good to be better than the average. But for mastery, you need to understand the exceptions.
This is a good example for an exception to all of the three:
I knew that inviting her over didn't have much chances, but I consciously did it anyway.
And I knew that pushing after the first rejection had low chances of succeeding, but I consciously chose it anyway (the "we can call each other" might have been a little mistake at that point, but it's not the biggest factor).No reply from her.
That's the biggest crossroad.Insisting after that would have led nowhere 99,9% of the time.
And saying nothing would have lead to the end of the interaction 95% of the time, with her never replying.
Even if he had replied, the bad mood would have festered and she would have developed a negative image of me. And I wanted to prevent that.In that case, to avoid emotional festering, it was then OK for me to take a step back.
I'd lose some control over the interaction and I come out with much less power and appeal. But it gives me a chance to stay in the game.Living to fight another day is more powerful than dying.
Is It Worth It?
That depends.
If you are not particularly into the girl, then it might be worth to keep insisting and then leaving it once she doesn't reply.
Or you might just leave it the moment you don't see she's very into the idea.On the other hand, if you like the girls, or if you are not having many options, it's well worth it to take that step back and rebuild goodwill. And then go for it later, or date with a more provider style later on.
Whether it's worth it or not depends on you, the girl, and the situation.
But knowing how to handle the situation gives you the power to decide.And you know I like to empower you with options, in this life :).
The rules of thumb are:
- If you made an offer, don't renege on it, or you lose power
- If you are pushing after a rejection, keep pushing until it's a clear yes or no
- If you texted once and she doesn't reply, avoid double texting in quick succession
However, as I often repeat in Social Power, "rules of thumb" are good to be better than the average. But for mastery, you need to understand the exceptions.
This is a good example for an exception to all of the three:
I knew that inviting her over didn't have much chances, but I consciously did it anyway.
And I knew that pushing after the first rejection had low chances of succeeding, but I consciously chose it anyway (the "we can call each other" might have been a little mistake at that point, but it's not the biggest factor).
No reply from her.
That's the biggest crossroad.
Insisting after that would have led nowhere 99,9% of the time.
And saying nothing would have lead to the end of the interaction 95% of the time, with her never replying.
Even if he had replied, the bad mood would have festered and she would have developed a negative image of me. And I wanted to prevent that.
In that case, to avoid emotional festering, it was then OK for me to take a step back.
I'd lose some control over the interaction and I come out with much less power and appeal. But it gives me a chance to stay in the game.
Living to fight another day is more powerful than dying.
Is It Worth It?
That depends.
If you are not particularly into the girl, then it might be worth to keep insisting and then leaving it once she doesn't reply.
Or you might just leave it the moment you don't see she's very into the idea.
On the other hand, if you like the girls, or if you are not having many options, it's well worth it to take that step back and rebuild goodwill. And then go for it later, or date with a more provider style later on.
Whether it's worth it or not depends on you, the girl, and the situation.
But knowing how to handle the situation gives you the power to decide.
And you know I like to empower you with options, in this life :).
---
(Book a call) for personalized & private feedback
Quote from Jasim.abdulla on March 27, 2020, 6:21 pmI think inviting her in your condo in the first place is wrong .I prefer to practice social distancing instead.
I think inviting her in your condo in the first place is wrong .I prefer to practice social distancing instead.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 28, 2020, 5:47 amThat's a health-related consideration.
If you want to meet someone -or hook up with someone-, from a health-related point of view, then directly at your place or at her place is the safest option as it minimizes contact with anyone else.At your place, you can also control more variables and help reduce risks.
You can make sure you got an alcohol solution and you spray all over her, or you can make her properly wash her hands as soon as she comes in.Of course, nothing is fool-proof, especially is she already has the virus.
For the safest option of them all, you are right, for sure it's safest not to meet anyone at all.
That's a health-related consideration.
If you want to meet someone -or hook up with someone-, from a health-related point of view, then directly at your place or at her place is the safest option as it minimizes contact with anyone else.
At your place, you can also control more variables and help reduce risks.
You can make sure you got an alcohol solution and you spray all over her, or you can make her properly wash her hands as soon as she comes in.
Of course, nothing is fool-proof, especially is she already has the virus.
For the safest option of them all, you are right, for sure it's safest not to meet anyone at all.
---
(Book a call) for personalized & private feedback
Quote from Jasim.abdulla on March 28, 2020, 9:25 amfrom my humble experience, the mindset of girls is different the guys even if the girls really want sex. to be honest my strategy always i talk with her over the phone for almost 10 minutes, to test how high vibe she is or how much is she intreated on me. then will take our conversation to naughty things to test her intention with me if she laughs or she gave me positive gesture about my sexy comment I will immediately set a date with her, such as "oh I can't wait to mingle with you in the white blanket after glass of drink".
I think girls don't want to feel that they are that too much obvious and easy, but at the same time experienced guy will not waste time with a girl who doesn't attract to him sexually.
from my humble experience, the mindset of girls is different the guys even if the girls really want sex. to be honest my strategy always i talk with her over the phone for almost 10 minutes, to test how high vibe she is or how much is she intreated on me. then will take our conversation to naughty things to test her intention with me if she laughs or she gave me positive gesture about my sexy comment I will immediately set a date with her, such as "oh I can't wait to mingle with you in the white blanket after glass of drink".
I think girls don't want to feel that they are that too much obvious and easy, but at the same time experienced guy will not waste time with a girl who doesn't attract to him sexually.