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I'm friends with two people, but these two people do not like each other and I feel caught up between them.
Hello TPM members,
- I'm friends with two people A, B, I know both of them individually, A and B also know each other but do not like each other, A complains about B and B complains about A to me, so I feel I have been caught up in the fight between the two, and at times forced to choose between them.
- I have been dealing by listening to both of them and reiterating that the other person has always been good to me and that I don't find fault with them, but this approach seems to keep make the person complaining to me wary about being my friend since they are scared I'm plotting something behind their back which is not the case.
How would you deal with a situation like this? where you are forced to walk a line between two equally good friends just because their personalities don't go well together?
Thank You
Mav
Hello Maverick,
Thank for sharing. I think here one possibility is to set boundaries with power protection and empathy:
You: You know A, I like you a lot and I consider you my friend. As you know I also consider B my friend. I love you guys both. So please don't say negative things about B to me anymore. I'm sad you guys don't get along together but I understand it: we cannot get along with everyone. That would be great if you could do that for me. What do you think?
Or something along those lines.
Thank you John,
This seems like a wonderful response, which will allow me to make my position clear and also leave them the choice to handle things between them, without me getting dragged into it.
Cheers Mav
Thanks Maverick, I'm glad it seems relevant to you!
If you feel like it I'm curious how it will turn out if you do put boundaries (in any shape or form) with them.
Cheers!
