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"Am I troubling you this much?"
Hello guys,
so yesterday I got this surgery. And as I was in my hotel (it's a hotel for patients), there was this cute blond young receptionist girl. So I ask her where her name is from. And she says it's arabic but she's Swiss. Then I leave in the wrong direction. And I joke that it is on purpose. Then I go to the elevator and ring it. The other one is opening and she tells me it's this one. I joke once again that of course I knew it. Then she says:
Her: Am I troubling you this much? (taking the frame of the chased)
Me: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I had a surgery today so I'm still a bit groggy.
Me (adding): Well, actually it's a little bit of both.
And I left. So I think my mistake was to enter her frame of being the chased one. Because after that my mind registered that she troubled me and I thought about her. So I think it's an effective technique as I used it myself in pick-up, called "frame reversal": "I know you want me". It works.
So I think in terms of strategy, I think it would have been better:
Her: Am I troubling you this much? (taking the frame of the chased)
Me: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I had a surgery today so I'm still a bit groggy.
Me (adding): However, I'm still going to take your number, just in case.
That is what was missing: either some action or complete denial. Because there I kind of admitted I liked her but did nothing.
Cheers!
Great analysis, John.
Her frame sounds more of the type "look what I strong effect I'm having on you", which is actually even more powerful than being chased.
Some other options to reply:
Her: Am I troubling you this much?
Me: Ahaha, I like a smartass woman. I'll come back later (user her own joke as an opportunity for screening her, slightly hit back with "smartass", rather than just "smart", and set up the proposal for a date)
Anyway, if you're still there, you can still go for it.
Good stuff, thanks for the tip. I'm not there anymore but I'll go tomorrow to the hospital. I'll go by to see if she's there.
Firstly John hope the surgery went well and you feel better soon and big ups for being on the pull straight after champ - amazing.
You both nailed it was the action that was missing. Lucio s slight neg was perfect.  Let me live vicariously since I m basically married and join the convo.
You can use it to create a bit of drama. Pretty girls get way too many lame same same approaches. I d deliver the 'smartass' with a neutral face. Then do a slow smile with the George Clooney bedroom eyes (Google sqench) and say you ll be back later.
Just creates tiny emotional spike makes you memorable.
