Quote from Sidney Lawson on December 2, 2023, 9:02 pm

Hey Guys,

My name is Sidney.  I am a 31 Senior Software Engineer from Toronto, ON.

So I am on this forum because I am have been socially/power unaware for most of my life because of my sheltered upbringing.  However my parents instilled in me a solid work ethic, so I am good at sports and I am a solid professional.

So in terms of my social and power awareness.. I have been getting better on my own as I learn to hang out around people more.  The last 2 years after a 10 year breakup, I moved downtown and started interacting with people way more and it did build up my power and social intelligence.

I have been working on my emotional self-awareness for 2 years, now I am transitioning to understanding my own value and my impact to the people around me and how to better influence my networks and to gain access to higher paying jobs.  And to be better at dating and relationships.

When it comes to women, for most women off dating apps, for like 33% of them, I am one their top daters.   I did struggle with showing intent and my sexual side, I have gotten better.  Women tend to be more power aware for sure, and I am not consistent in that area and that's were I lose them.

Despite that, since I had my 10 year breakup, I slept with 25 women off dating apps.  Nothign in person because I am too scared to approach, but I do got alot of indicators of interest.

So if I was to give myself a scorecard:

1. Influence Awareness -3/5   I most of the times understand my impact on others but i tend to underestimate it.
2. Identifying Influence - 4/5  I can see given a setting who is the most influence on the group 
3. Value of Relationships - 3/5 I understand their value but I am still learning to maximize the value
4. Navigating Hierarchies - 3/5 I can understood whose, who and everyones rank but I tend to cross boundaries 
5. Non-Verbal Cues    - 3/5  I can read non-verbal cues but sometimes I am slow to process them in realtime and react to them
6. Conflict Resolution - 2/5 Resolving conflict is difficult for me, I do fear it, I am not not confrontational unless I am on a court or pitch
7. Social Adaptability - 3/5 I am ok, I can be a descent social chameleon
8. Understanding Reciprocity - 3/5 I think for most relationships I understand give and take
9. Strategic Communication - 2.5/5 I can be pretty bad in talking about myself in a positive light when chips are on the table
10. Recognizing Manipulation - 3/5  I can detect it, but I am slow reacting to it 
11. Balancing Empathy and Assertiveness - 3/5  I went from being cluelessly assertive, to empathetic to now I am trying to find the balance