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Introduction : Pelt

#1 · December 10, 2023, 8:47 pm

Quote from Pelt on December 10, 2023, 8:47 pm
Dear all,
Even though I am a PU member for quite some years now, with the exception of a single post I never did much with the forum. Lately I have been reading a number of posts from others and seeing their reports, questions and inputs. It is good for my perspective on things, and I learn things along the way. As I am reading more posts as well as having renewed my commitment of maximizing the PU/SU potential towards myself I thought it best to write an introduction. Especially as I will probably pop up in one of the threads towards the future.
Short description of myself
I am a **** guy who turned **** a few days ago. Birthdays have traditionally not been my best days, I do not tend to celebrate them as they remind me that I am stuck in the same place as back when I was ** (******* wise, or better said the lack thereof).
Do not get me wrong, I am reasonably successful ***** wise and am better off than most people around me depending on what things in life you value most. In the private sphere I have always struggled with ****** ***** and am nearly always ****. ******, though it has not been very noticeable since a decade or so. Even the rough edges are gone at the moment.
For those who do not know, ***** (...).
In general, at least in my case, I am pretty smart logical thinking to the extent I passed my ***** **** exam. But I am unable to 'feel' social interaction as most people do. And social interaction feels pretty strange to others when navigated by logic, which works in business but seems to be a pretty big turn-off when trying to make friends or find a life partner. In the end you avoid social events and people whenever possible, which makes the problem worse.
I have a ***** **** but as anyone else in this age range they are almost always busy with their work, family or hobbies. I ********** (.....).
Now I found a new realization that I can still make it happen, though late in life, after the discovery of information that actually made it possible for me to find out what I was doing wrong and change that, combined with actual results in the right direction.
The current situation does come with a strange side effect. Currently I am the best version of myself that I have ever been, and I do feel good about that. At the same time it feels really bad knowing that at ** I should be much further in life and even with all improvements made it is still extremely difficult to find someone. This combination of feeling 'high' and 'low' at the same time does feel strange to me.
Initially I started PU to get ahead in business, I however noticed the effect my growth was having on women so I changed my goals to attracting women and leave the career aspect as is for now.
What has changed
During the last six months I have made more progress in my life then in the twenty years that came before it. Growth seemed to progress exponentially at some point, though I do feel of being on a plateau for a week or two now. Though PU started my growth, once I started seeing actual results I did add SU and a few channels on YouTube.
Changes have been losing weight (*********) leading to me feeling bones instead of fat; weights training made me gain (and feel and see) muscle, I dress perfectly in the styles suit or chino/shirt, I fully applied the posture section from PU and am now working on speech in the broad sense (words chosen, tonality and force used). I did grow in the power dynamics / social skills as well, but it is hard to define to what extent as the extrinsic qualities have created the possibilities I never had but the social skills are not at the level to pull through.
Just doing the above led to the situation that a lot of women, some at least ten years younger than I am and probably even more, are actively trying to get me to talk to them. I am ** years old (though I seem to look **’ish) and I get attention from women still in school!
A lot of men I encounter in the street act submissive towards me (looking down when being near, absolutely not wanting eye contact etc). Professionally I have climbed a bit as well, those who preferred to ignore me in the past are suddenly acting as equals or even submissive while they are hierarchically in charge. My suggestions are more than ever approved and put into working. I met up with my (only) ex recently for a quick chat after not seeing each other for half a year, she told me during our visit to the city that I look, stand and move like ‘out of a movie’. It almost felt unreal to her, and she honestly acted more submissive and feminine then she ever did when we were together.
I can honestly say that ‘fake it till you make it’ works. At first I was uncomfortable forcing my posture, walk and general attitude. With all the successes it got me it seemed to have become my standard. I no longer need to think ‘walk straight’, it goes automatically. And I notice I start caring less and less what others think, I just do it.
To be honest, at some level this scares me. I have been ignored by women all my life and suddenly I see women at ages too young for me interested most places I go. At first I ignored it as I just could not believe it, later on I ignored it as I just did not know what to say. This does add to my frustration, having all these women trying to get my attention and I just keep ignoring them just because I do not know what to say. I tried a few times to start a conversation when travelling by train ‘out of area’, it seems there are a number of people with whom I can hold a conversation if I put in sufficient effort, but it is difficult and does not always work. It seems the duller the person is, the better we get along. This also prevents me from approaching the largest pool of interested women, they live close to me and I do fear that being the awkward guy with two or three of them will spread to all of them. But I guess at some point it would be better to try and lose then to never try at all.
But to put some bad in all this good. At first I loved all the attention, now I am frustrated as hell about it. I do not know what to say, so I say nothing at all. So I basically get nowhere, just like before. But it does motivate me to continue on the path chosen. The results speak for themselves, I am on the right track.
Regards,
Pelt

Dear all,

Even though I am a PU member for quite some years now, with the exception of a single post I never did much with the forum. Lately I have been reading a number of posts from others and seeing their reports, questions and inputs. It is good for my perspective on things, and I learn things along the way. As I am reading more posts as well as having renewed my commitment of maximizing the PU/SU potential towards myself I thought it best to write an introduction. Especially as I will probably pop up in one of the threads towards the future.

Short description of myself
I am a **** guy who turned **** a few days ago. Birthdays have traditionally not been my best days, I do not tend to celebrate them as they remind me that I am stuck in the same place as back when I was ** (******* wise, or better said the lack thereof).

Do not get me wrong, I am reasonably successful ***** wise and am better off than most people around me depending on what things in life you value most. In the private sphere I have always struggled with ****** ***** and am nearly always ****. ******, though it has not been very noticeable since a decade or so. Even the rough edges are gone at the moment.

For those who do not know, ***** (...).
In general, at least in my case, I am pretty smart logical thinking to the extent I passed my ***** **** exam. But I am unable to 'feel' social interaction as most people do. And social interaction feels pretty strange to others when navigated by logic, which works in business but seems to be a pretty big turn-off when trying to make friends or find a life partner. In the end you avoid social events and people whenever possible, which makes the problem worse.

I have a ***** **** but as anyone else in this age range they are almost always busy with their work, family or hobbies. I ********** (.....).
Now I found a new realization that I can still make it happen, though late in life, after the discovery of information that actually made it possible for me to find out what I was doing wrong and change that, combined with actual results in the right direction.

The current situation does come with a strange side effect. Currently I am the best version of myself that I have ever been, and I do feel good about that. At the same time it feels really bad knowing that at ** I should be much further in life and even with all improvements made it is still extremely difficult to find someone. This combination of feeling 'high' and 'low' at the same time does feel strange to me.

Initially I started PU to get ahead in business, I however noticed the effect my growth was having on women so I changed my goals to attracting women and leave the career aspect as is for now.

What has changed
During the last six months I have made more progress in my life then in the twenty years that came before it. Growth seemed to progress exponentially at some point, though I do feel of being on a plateau for a week or two now. Though PU started my growth, once I started seeing actual results I did add SU and a few channels on YouTube.

Changes have been losing weight (*********) leading to me feeling bones instead of fat; weights training made me gain (and feel and see) muscle, I dress perfectly in the styles suit or chino/shirt, I fully applied the posture section from PU and am now working on speech in the broad sense (words chosen, tonality and force used). I did grow in the power dynamics / social skills as well, but it is hard to define to what extent as the extrinsic qualities have created the possibilities I never had but the social skills are not at the level to pull through.

Just doing the above led to the situation that a lot of women, some at least ten years younger than I am and probably even more, are actively trying to get me to talk to them. I am ** years old (though I seem to look **’ish) and I get attention from women still in school!
A lot of men I encounter in the street act submissive towards me (looking down when being near, absolutely not wanting eye contact etc). Professionally I have climbed a bit as well, those who preferred to ignore me in the past are suddenly acting as equals or even submissive while they are hierarchically in charge. My suggestions are more than ever approved and put into working. I met up with my (only) ex recently for a quick chat after not seeing each other for half a year, she told me during our visit to the city that I look, stand and move like ‘out of a movie’. It almost felt unreal to her, and she honestly acted more submissive and feminine then she ever did when we were together.

I can honestly say that ‘fake it till you make it’ works. At first I was uncomfortable forcing my posture, walk and general attitude. With all the successes it got me it seemed to have become my standard. I no longer need to think ‘walk straight’, it goes automatically. And I notice I start caring less and less what others think, I just do it.

To be honest, at some level this scares me. I have been ignored by women all my life and suddenly I see women at ages too young for me interested most places I go. At first I ignored it as I just could not believe it, later on I ignored it as I just did not know what to say. This does add to my frustration, having all these women trying to get my attention and I just keep ignoring them just because I do not know what to say. I tried a few times to start a conversation when travelling by train ‘out of area’, it seems there are a number of people with whom I can hold a conversation if I put in sufficient effort, but it is difficult and does not always work. It seems the duller the person is, the better we get along. This also prevents me from approaching the largest pool of interested women, they live close to me and I do fear that being the awkward guy with two or three of them will spread to all of them. But I guess at some point it would be better to try and lose then to never try at all.

But to put some bad in all this good. At first I loved all the attention, now I am frustrated as hell about it. I do not know what to say, so I say nothing at all. So I basically get nowhere, just like before. But it does motivate me to continue on the path chosen. The results speak for themselves, I am on the right track.

Regards,

Pelt

Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and 6 other users have reacted to this post.

#2 · December 10, 2023, 9:17 pm

Quote from John Freeman on December 10, 2023, 9:17 pm
Welkom Pelt!
Great write-up. Congrats for the self-development. Your work paid off! Inspiring.
What dutch city are you from if you don't mind sharing? (love the **, travelled many places there)
The current situation does come with a strange side effect. Currently I am the best version of myself that I have ever been, and I do feel good about that. At the same time it feels really bad knowing that at ** I should be much further in life and even with all improvements made it is still extremely difficult to find someone. This combination of feeling 'high' and 'low' at the same time does feel strange to me.
Man, if you have different (high) brain functioning, late-blooming is actually normal from my experience. Most people learn through imitation. High intelligence people learn through understanding underlying principles, connecting concepts, etc. So it takes more time to build a functional mature self and Worldview. That's my opinion and observation. However, after that stage as you noticed exponential growth is a possibility. So it does not matter how fast other people grow we all have our pace. Also based on the healing we have to do based on our past. So I would not compare myself to other people of the same age. Only focussing on your goals and self-transformation. I relate to what you wrote. At my age other people are at different stages in life. But I don't care. It's my life and my choices.
Regarding where you at I think you summarised it well: improved BL, improved power dynamics, improved style, improved attraction.
So if I would be you I would now focus on social skills. As you know self-development is not linear. We identify a weakness, we work on it and then we identify another weakness and it's this one which holds us off. I think you can go down the list safely. Once you feel you're proficient enough you can move on to another skill.
I can personally recommend as foundations (in audio book versions) based on what you wrote. The order I would not care too much:
The social skills guidebook
People skills
Improve your social skills
How to win friends and influence people
Now, about the attention. Tough call. Well, there are 2 sides:
Extrovert/introvert aspect: this is personal but we can modulate it. However, I found it to be largely fixed.
Getting higher value/statu: will attract some attention anyway. I think it's a matter of habituation.
Being **** and from what you wrote, I'm guessing you're probably tall. So if you're a tall, muscular and well dressed guy. Tough luck: you're going to be noticed. So there's maybe a period of adaptation to this new reality. Sometimes when we do intensively self-development, we change faster than our self-perception. It happened to me a few times and it is intense. So slowing down could help as well in that regard.

Welkom Pelt!

Great write-up. Congrats for the self-development. Your work paid off! Inspiring.

What dutch city are you from if you don't mind sharing? (love the **, travelled many places there)

The current situation does come with a strange side effect. Currently I am the best version of myself that I have ever been, and I do feel good about that. At the same time it feels really bad knowing that at ** I should be much further in life and even with all improvements made it is still extremely difficult to find someone. This combination of feeling 'high' and 'low' at the same time does feel strange to me.

Man, if you have different (high) brain functioning, late-blooming is actually normal from my experience. Most people learn through imitation. High intelligence people learn through understanding underlying principles, connecting concepts, etc. So it takes more time to build a functional mature self and Worldview. That's my opinion and observation. However, after that stage as you noticed exponential growth is a possibility. So it does not matter how fast other people grow we all have our pace. Also based on the healing we have to do based on our past. So I would not compare myself to other people of the same age. Only focussing on your goals and self-transformation. I relate to what you wrote. At my age other people are at different stages in life. But I don't care. It's my life and my choices.

Regarding where you at I think you summarised it well: improved BL, improved power dynamics, improved style, improved attraction.

So if I would be you I would now focus on social skills. As you know self-development is not linear. We identify a weakness, we work on it and then we identify another weakness and it's this one which holds us off. I think you can go down the list safely. Once you feel you're proficient enough you can move on to another skill.

I can personally recommend as foundations (in audio book versions) based on what you wrote. The order I would not care too much:

The social skills guidebook
People skills
Improve your social skills
How to win friends and influence people

Now, about the attention. Tough call. Well, there are 2 sides:

Extrovert/introvert aspect: this is personal but we can modulate it. However, I found it to be largely fixed.
Getting higher value/statu: will attract some attention anyway. I think it's a matter of habituation.

Being **** and from what you wrote, I'm guessing you're probably tall. So if you're a tall, muscular and well dressed guy. Tough luck: you're going to be noticed. So there's maybe a period of adaptation to this new reality. Sometimes when we do intensively self-development, we change faster than our self-perception. It happened to me a few times and it is intense. So slowing down could help as well in that regard.

Lucio Buffalmano, Pelt and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

#3 · December 10, 2023, 9:47 pm

Another thing about social skills is practice so it all depends how you go about socialising.

Lucio Buffalmano, Pelt and 3 other users have reacted to this post.

#4 · December 10, 2023, 10:00 pm

Absolute fire, ****!

And I agree it sounds like very much being on the right track.

It sounds like you're running on that highway, wings splayed out, first jumping attempts as you run... And now you "only" gotta learn how to properly jump to take off.

Pelt, John Freeman and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

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#5 · December 11, 2023, 6:32 pm

Quote from Pelt on December 11, 2023, 6:32 pm
Hi John, Lucio,
Thanks for the kind words and suggestions.
What **** city are you from if you don't mind sharing? (love the **, travelled many places there)
I am from a rather small city located in between ******** and ***, or to name a few better known cities in between ***** and ****. In both cases almost directly in the middle.
It is not the most visited part of ******** so I am unsure if you have been to ******. I would say less crowded and more nature then anywhere else.
High intelligence people learn through understanding underlying principles, connecting concepts, etc
I can confirm it works exactly like this with me. I need to know the entirety of something and then I just see trough the entire system start to finish whatever the situation, when only having the 'relevant information' things get much more difficult. What most people call irrelevant information hardly ever is.
Now, about the attention. Tough call. Well, there are 2 sides:
I expect the attention is mainly my BL and overall appearance, comparing myself to the way most men carry and dress themselves in this area I do think I have surpassed 90% of them already. A friend recently told me I dress in a way showing I am financially well off, that probably helps as well. About the muscles I do not look like a body builder, I just notice the change myself. I am only ***** (*****), but I look very fit. The attention has become less now its winter, and I also believe some of the excess attention carried over from a very peculiar situation that made me look extremely high status in public amidst a crowd (every time I think about it, it puts a smile on my face again), the longer that moment is in the past the more normal things are becoming. But I still like the attention that remains, now its dosed less excessive. And next summer I am going to try and create more of those 'incidents', I am certain I can handle the attention by then.
I have two weeks vacation after this week, I got 2 books and 1 audiobook from your list. I am curious about the last one, never had an audiobook. I am going to try it out while driving. Fun and study!
I am going to practice being social more as well. I have been going to places where I could meet people for a week or three already, I felt this was going to be the next step a while back. I did not speak to many, but just being amongst people and the short talks here and there help. I also went back to the dive club (I used to be a diver and want to be again) last weekend. The 'social talk' at the club was pretty awkward, but they were all pretty supportive so I might even feel at home there. I am going to sign up for bar duty at the club house as well. And who would have guessed, today I got a phone number through my nephew, he set me up for a date. First one in years. I guess there is quite some social practice coming up.
Regards,
Pelnt

Hi John, Lucio,

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions.

What **** city are you from if you don't mind sharing? (love the **, travelled many places there)

I am from a rather small city located in between ******** and ***, or to name a few better known cities in between ***** and ****. In both cases almost directly in the middle.

It is not the most visited part of ******** so I am unsure if you have been to ******. I would say less crowded and more nature then anywhere else.

High intelligence people learn through understanding underlying principles, connecting concepts, etc

I can confirm it works exactly like this with me. I need to know the entirety of something and then I just see trough the entire system start to finish whatever the situation, when only having the 'relevant information' things get much more difficult. What most people call irrelevant information hardly ever is.

Now, about the attention. Tough call. Well, there are 2 sides:

I expect the attention is mainly my BL and overall appearance, comparing myself to the way most men carry and dress themselves in this area I do think I have surpassed 90% of them already. A friend recently told me I dress in a way showing I am financially well off, that probably helps as well. About the muscles I do not look like a body builder, I just notice the change myself. I am only ***** (*****), but I look very fit. The attention has become less now its winter, and I also believe some of the excess attention carried over from a very peculiar situation that made me look extremely high status in public amidst a crowd (every time I think about it, it puts a smile on my face again), the longer that moment is in the past the more normal things are becoming. But I still like the attention that remains, now its dosed less excessive. And next summer I am going to try and create more of those 'incidents', I am certain I can handle the attention by then.

I have two weeks vacation after this week, I got 2 books and 1 audiobook from your list. I am curious about the last one, never had an audiobook. I am going to try it out while driving. Fun and study!

I am going to practice being social more as well. I have been going to places where I could meet people for a week or three already, I felt this was going to be the next step a while back. I did not speak to many, but just being amongst people and the short talks here and there help. I also went back to the dive club (I used to be a diver and want to be again) last weekend. The 'social talk' at the club was pretty awkward, but they were all pretty supportive so I might even feel at home there. I am going to sign up for bar duty at the club house as well. And who would have guessed, today I got a phone number through my nephew, he set me up for a date. First one in years. I guess there is quite some social practice coming up.

Regards,

Pelnt

Lucio Buffalmano, Jack and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

#6 · December 11, 2023, 6:48 pm

Hello, Pelt! Welcome to the forum, man! Looks like you have a sound battle plan. Travelling is great to practice social skills. And, in my experience, people tend to me more receptive in general. Other tourists are also looking to get to know new people, and, depending on where you are, locals may be curious about you.

Lucio Buffalmano, Pelt and Jack have reacted to this post.