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Hey all,

My name is Kenneth, I'm a 31-year old from Toronto, Canada.

This is my first forum post.   Very happy to be taking this course.

(I actually came to forum in response to a "challenge" from the "Social Exchange Quiz, question 8 (section 2.1)" asking me to share my thoughts on what the person could have done to better respect social exchange rules.

I can't seem to find a spot in the forums that specifically addresses section 2.1, so I'll leave my reply here:  the person denied a collaborative frame by stating his product was "too niche" for Lucio to contribute too.  He could have done better by clearly stating he is open to a future-collaborative frame ("Thanks for asking.  I would tell you if I could, since I'm sure I would benefit from your insights and I think you would find it interesting...") while still sticking to his guns that he can't share the private details ("...Unfortunately at this time I can't share that due to privacy reasons.  But I'll fill you in when I can")

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Lucio BuffalmanoStef

Hello Kenneth!

Welcome here!

Yeah, pretty close.
I stopped replying because if I had replied, I'd have sent the message that "it's OK for him not to give information, while asking for information".

But I do NOT want to send that message, because it's not OK to ask, without giving.

It also works as thread amplifying.
So if he resumed the conversation, the thread hanging over our heads was that he asked for advice, but refused to share information. And, from a social exchange point of view, that is a more empowering, as well as a juster frame to keep operating on.


So to avoid coming across like he was asking for advice but wasn't willing to share juicy information, he could have done something like what you said.

Or, if he had any, he could have said he had NDA, or agreements with his partners not to share that business-critical information (pass the blame to a third party, showing it wasn't him who was being too mistrusting).

Or being very honest and simply saying "the business only works because we're the only ones there, so I really can't share unluckily" was also fine, but he could have added something like:

"but very happy to share how we ended up in this niche, like the thought process, which maybe is even more important"


But I'll make that up picking up the tab 😀

Of course, it wasn't so much about picking the tab for a meal or a coffee, but it was about showing the willingness and the mentality of someone who also gives, rather than just asking and taking.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I understand.  Thank-you for the detailed reply.  It's very helpful.  ?


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Lucio Buffalmano