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Is Deferring a Payment Always a Good Strategy to Maintain Leverage? Or Does It Signal Distrust in an Otherwise Good Relationship

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Absolutely, approaching things and people lower power is something I do very often.

Also, after the fake time constraint, also this line becomes more suspicious:

Would you like to get the payment out of the way now/soon?

The frame was a persuasive attempt for a "yes".

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Community, new content and Charisma University moved here.

Yeah very suspicious, let me see how his service goes for the next few months :).

  • "I got your measure": the "lol, let's hope" sub-communicates "I saw your power move"
    • ... In a smooth way: it's friendly and low-power enough that it saves his face and power, and avoid escalations

It's a good middle ground between escalating / going assertive and totally pretending it didn't happen (just to make sure he doesn't think you're easy to manipulate).

Is "lol" important?
I suppose it kicks off the frame as humorous.
Takes the edge off.

"Let's hope" can work too but it's a bit too much on the serious side.

  • "I got leverage":

"I'm screwed" is a "joke by exaggeration" that shows the opposite.

You're not screwed in reality, so you sub-communicate: "I'll be fine either way, you need me as much as I need you"

I can see how this is different from the technique of agree & amplify.
Agree & amplify falls within the counterparty's frame.

Here it's not an agreement.
You set a new frame then amplify.

This new frame sidesteps the coach's implicit frame of

I set the deadline because I have what you need and hence leverage over you.

to your new frame of

I'll be fine either way, you need me as much as I need you

while using an exaggerating joking tone.

My vocal coach forgets completely about his arbitrary fake deadline.

I wanted to continue his services this year.
So I told him

Me: Stripe is good.

Him: Here's the payment page. Any questions, let me know! No rush.. Take your time.

Then, I decided to confirm when our current sessions would last until.

Me: May I find out when our sessions would last until this year?

Now he sent me another voice message about another arbitrary fake deadline.
Something along the lines of

Him: Our sessions would last until (end date).
You have to pay by (arbitrary deadline this month).
I have many students wanting to start on my side.

This is really weird considering that he told me "No rush. Take your time" just before.
Now it seemed that he thought by being friendly, I would go ahead with the payment.

Just to be sure he's faking this, I used another email account to send him this message:

Me: I'm thinking about purchasing lifetime access to the course.

Would you immediately start the one year of service?
Or would there be an option of starting this one year of service later down the road?

Him: Thanks for your email. I’m pleased to know that you’re interested in working with me.

The WhatsApp service will begin from whenever you send your first voice message. However, if you send nothing for a whole year, you will not be able to use my services. In short, your 1 year can start whenever you want within 1 year of purchasing the course.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

The sentence in bold is all I need to know.
I can purchase his service and start whenever I want even after purchasing.

But when it comes to working with him outside of negotiation, he's excellent and I respect what he has to offer.
So I will probably continue with his service.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

And a power mover was caught :).

It sounded a bit suspicious from the beginning, now you know for sure, good catch.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Community, new content and Charisma University moved here.
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