Quote from selffriend on March 30, 2021, 3:31 pm

You: I can’t because I scheduled some me time for tonight and I’m just gonna eat my favorite meal, drink my favorite wine, and listen to my favorite music

The excerpt above was taken from: Assertiveness: 6 Steps to Empowered Communication | The Power Moves

I am not sure if the line is assertive as the article specifically tells us to say "I don't" instead of "I can't". The article also says "80% of people make up some excuses when denying someone", and I think the majority of the population is not powerful alpha?

I will appreciate if anyone could clarify this.

 

Full excerpt:

• Say “I don’t”, not “I can’t”

“I can’t” is inherently low-power.

It implies that there are external constraints that stop you from doing what you would like to do.

And it also sounds like excuse-making.
If you have enough power to say it, why not just say “I don’t want to”.

This also applies to self-talk.
People who thought in terms of “I don’t” were far more likely to stick to their own boundaries (Patrick, 2011).

• “No, because I’m taking some me time”

80% of people make up some excuses when they deny someone.

Great opportunity for the high-value guy you are!
Imagine how high-power and honest you’re going to be when you will tell people:

You: I can’t because I scheduled some me time for tonight and I’m just gonna eat my favorite meal, drink my favorite wine, and listen to my favorite music