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Is its still possible to meet men in real life

#1 · February 2, 2020, 5:06 pm

Hi Lucio

i’m a college educated attractive woman and i have alot of trouble meeting men! In fact, i think dating apps makes everything easy for guys and they don’t feel the need to approach in real life! (Unless they are drunk)

I would like to have some suggestions on how to meet interesting worldy guys in real life?

#2 · February 3, 2020, 7:39 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 3, 2020, 7:39 am
Hi,
Yeah, the college-degree cohort is notoriously a difficult market for women as men have not kept up with their education.
Worst of all are cities where manufacturing and blue-collar jobs have disappeared (in the US, the areas that voted for Trump).
In those cities, women have good office jobs, and most men are not just blue-collar, but unemployed blue collars.
But don't let that discourage you, of course.
You're still a catch for those who aim high!
Do men approach less, these days?
That's a very good question.
In a way, the many dating coaches and information available on the Internet should encourage more men to approach. But then, as you say, Internet also provides more opportunities for digital dating. Plus "reality-escaping" valves such as videogames and porn.
I'm not sure what the net effect is, but it might as well be negative, indeed.
A few ideas:
Walk slowly
Look approachable and friendly
Wear something that makes it easy to comment on
Go out by yourself a bit more
If you're in a group, sit on the outside of that group (it's difficult to approach women who sit in the middle)
If you go out in groups, all-women groups are better (unless those guys bring new guys to meet)
Avoid going out with a man (or guys might think it's your BF)
When you go to the bathroom, go by yourself
When you go get a drink, go by yourself
Wear brighter colors
Men are afraid of rejection, so any signal of "warmth" and "friendliness" that lowers the risk of harsh rejections will increase the likelihood of being approached
"Exploitability" signals also increase the chances of being approached. Albeit these means that you should look dumb and gullible
If you don't want to send more "exploitability" signals, do avoid at least "power dressing" and "power poses"
Dressing more provocatively also increases the chances of being approached, albeit the initial aim might be more for short term (but it's always possible to switch short-term for long-term)
Attend events where meeting new people is expected as part of the social contract (Meetups, Couchsurfing events, networking events)
Seek places where women are a minority and most patrons are men
And finally:
Do get on dating apps
Don't discount drunk men: judge their overall value, not just their drunkenness
Sure, they might be drunk when they approach you, but you can still exchange contact and schedule a quick coffee some days later.
Plenty of cool guys get drunk from time to time.
And once they're sober the day after, they can be good prospects.

Hi,

Yeah, the college-degree cohort is notoriously a difficult market for women as men have not kept up with their education.

Worst of all are cities where manufacturing and blue-collar jobs have disappeared (in the US, the areas that voted for Trump).
In those cities, women have good office jobs, and most men are not just blue-collar, but unemployed blue collars.

But don't let that discourage you, of course.
You're still a catch for those who aim high!

Do men approach less, these days?
That's a very good question.
In a way, the many dating coaches and information available on the Internet should encourage more men to approach. But then, as you say, Internet also provides more opportunities for digital dating. Plus "reality-escaping" valves such as videogames and porn.

I'm not sure what the net effect is, but it might as well be negative, indeed.

A few ideas:

Walk slowly
Look approachable and friendly
Wear something that makes it easy to comment on
Go out by yourself a bit more
If you're in a group, sit on the outside of that group (it's difficult to approach women who sit in the middle)
If you go out in groups, all-women groups are better (unless those guys bring new guys to meet)
Avoid going out with a man (or guys might think it's your BF)
When you go to the bathroom, go by yourself
When you go get a drink, go by yourself
Wear brighter colors
Men are afraid of rejection, so any signal of "warmth" and "friendliness" that lowers the risk of harsh rejections will increase the likelihood of being approached
"Exploitability" signals also increase the chances of being approached. Albeit these means that you should look dumb and gullible
- If you don't want to send more "exploitability" signals, do avoid at least "power dressing" and "power poses"
Dressing more provocatively also increases the chances of being approached, albeit the initial aim might be more for short term (but it's always possible to switch short-term for long-term)
Attend events where meeting new people is expected as part of the social contract (Meetups, Couchsurfing events, networking events)
Seek places where women are a minority and most patrons are men

And finally:

Do get on dating apps
Don't discount drunk men: judge their overall value, not just their drunkenness

Sure, they might be drunk when they approach you, but you can still exchange contact and schedule a quick coffee some days later.
Plenty of cool guys get drunk from time to time.
And once they're sober the day after, they can be good prospects.

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