Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Levels in personal questions: social intelligence
Hello TPM community,
Yesterday at work I ask a nurse (1-on-1, was her break time):
Me: How long have you been working here
This is a pretty standard work questions. Not too personal.
She answered. Then she goes:
Her: have you always wanted to be a pediatrician?
This is a common question I get as many people are fascinated by physicians. I would say without fake humility: I understand as I was as well.
I answered about my mission, etc. So I answered as a very personal level that I don't tell many people. She answered with a judge. power move: "It's a good heart".
I bonded more with her but today I regretted having told her so many personal things to a stranger/colleague.
She cannot use it against me so it's fine. But this was way too personal.
My mistake: to answer to a personal question whereas the question I asked her was more superficial. So there was a huge gap in disclosure between us.
So next time I'll answer to the same question I asked her as if she had asked the same:
Me: well, I've been working here for about 9 months and yeah I love being a pediatrician.
On the contrary giving some more vulnerable info about yourself, especially if they can't use it against you much is good, you can see their reaction, will they understanding or not.
If not you note that you can't share a lot with them and if possible choose other acquaintances.
Still can be useful as you keep the most important information to yourself while exchanging information about less deep things, like some work tips or life tips.
Especially if they are confident \ successful or there are not many other choices, they can still have something worth sharing.
So your situation while not the best case scenario if navigated carefully can still be a good outcome.
