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Manipulative technique: trans-acting
Hello TPM community,
my psychologist talked to me about this manipulative technique. It's from a french psychologist. I asked him resources about it. I'll post them if I can.
It's when a person makes you act against your own interest out of counter-acting a manipulation or setting boundaries.
Examples
When I:
- want to kick JB out of our group
- got angry at our lazy lying excuse-making resident
- almost blocked my mother on WA today (repetitive abuse, I gave her a last chance, will post about it if I do, it's a good case study of a high intensity manipulator).
I'll start from PU to give an example that all PU students know: "Social Calibration: The Key to “Smoothness”"
This lesson is when the manipulator starts with a micro-aggression and we mistakenly respond with an aggression. So here the manipulator manipulates us into acting against our own interest: we seem the aggressor and the manipulator looks like the victim.
Same phenomenon as when JB said in the linked post above:
JB: Ok no worries. Because there I don't understand your reaction. But nothing serious on my side.
Here he reverses the frame from me being a victim to him being a victim : his forgiveness is the frame reversal as only victims forgive the aggressor.
I'm going to study this lesson more in-depth. As I became more assertive and confident, I trigger more microagressions from manipulators (and other people who are insecure/fragile egos).
I'll document this more when I have more information from the literature. This is my current understanding.
I think it's a very important technique to be able to defend to because manipulators are very skilled at it. Especially using it when their self-preservation is at stake.
As I get more accurate information about this technique, I might kindly ask for a change of the title as I got the name verbally and not in written form.
I'm going to figure this out.
