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Moral High Ground Technique Against Slut-Shaming

In this thread, we used "excuse me" to draw boundaries against slut-shaming and using the offensive name "slut".
Is "Excuse Me" Good for Drawing Boundaries?

I'm thinking if it's possible to use the moral high ground technique against slut-shaming.
Lucio explained this technique in the context of declining a manipulative request for help.

Slut-shaming is about what is good in society.
It implies that promiscuity is bad.

Let's use a face-to-face conversational example in the video here:

Marshal: I call slut
Robin: Excuse me?
Marshal: I'm sorry Robin, but you hooking up with this guy makes it seem like the only thing standing in between you and sex is clothes.
Robin: If a beautiful women came up to you and you did not know her very well, what will you do?
It's normal and even value-adding for two people attracted to each other to have sex.

With the rising tide of feminism, sexual freedom could be seen as morally superior.
However, I'm unsure if this technique would work in this case.

I think it's a risk, also because deep down no man really wants loose women.

They might say "yeah, you go girl, she's right", but most of them wouldn't want to partner up with her, so she'd lose status and appeal.

I think in PU it says that before you own, defend, or take the moral high ground on your position, you should first make sure that it's defensible, otherwise you might only make it worse.

In this case, rather than morally high-groundign her position, I think it would be better to either:

  1. frame the attacker as a prude
  2. make him apologize and take it back as "not something cool to say to a friend"
  3. "excuse me" + getting strategically offended, and denying the accusation
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I think it's a risk, also because deep down no man really wants loose women.

They might say "yeah, you go girl, she's right", but most of them wouldn't want to partner up with her, so she'd lose status and appeal.

I see the problem.
Morality cannot beat evolutionary psychology.
Actually, I recall morality stems from evolutionary psychology from your articles and Power University.
If your moral stance goes against evolutionary psychology, it is probably not defensible.

Not in the video context, but maybe if all the men were players, that may work. (I'm not sure)
Probably too risky in any circumstance.

I think in PU it says that before you own, defend, or take the moral high ground on your position, you should first make sure that it's defensible, otherwise you might only make it worse.

Power dynamics seems to be like basketball.
You want to take high percentage shots.
Don't use the moral high ground if it's not strong or highly defensible.

Maybe the above is a redundant statement.
You always want to take high percentage shots in life.

In this case, rather than morally high-groundign her position, I think it would be better to either:

  1. frame the attacker as a prude
  2. make him apologize and take it back as "not something cool to say to a friend"
  3. "excuse me" + getting strategically offended, and denying the accusation

It seemed that she tried going for number 3, excuse me + getting strategically offended, and denying the accusation.
Marshal continued to be aggressive, which, in that case, she could have adopted techniques 1 and 2.

Marshal took a strong position, so framing him as a prude would be effective.
Also, he was aggressive so pushing back hard as "not something cool to say to a friend" would work well too.

Framing Him As Jealous - Why Men Slut-Shame Their Women Friends?

I'm thinking that we can go back to the underlying motivation for a man to slut-shame his woman friend.
His motivation is to discourage her from being promiscuous and have one more suitable female partner.

Actually, I think that's why your female friend did the same to you in the text exchange.
On some level, she was interested in locking you down whether consciously or subconsciously.

It's a nasty, defensive, value-taking way of competing sexually.
Rather than working on yourself to raise your sexual market value (SMV).

So maybe she can use that to her advantage over here by framing him as jealous:

Marshal: I call slut
Robin: Excuse me?
Marshal: I'm sorry Robin, but you hooking up with this guy makes it seem like the only thing standing in between you and sex is clothes.
Robin: Marshal, are you jealous? (smirk)

The issue with the jealous angle:

She makes Marshal's girlfriend angry.
Marshal being jealous frames Marshal as wanting and lusting after Robin, and that wouldn't sit well with Marshal's girlfriend.

I think the best angle defense, in this case, is to frame Marshal as being a controlling, prude, judgmental guy, and that he is being a poor friend and crossing the line of basic human decency by labeling "slut" a member and common friend of the group.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

This goes back to rule number 1: Don't be a d##k.

Shaming a d##k is morally acceptable.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 22, 2021, 4:42 pm

The issue with the jealous angle:

She makes Marshal's girlfriend angry.
Marshal being jealous frames Marshal as wanting and lusting after Robin, and that wouldn't sit well with Marshal's girlfriend.

I think the best angle defense, in this case, is to frame Marshal as being a controlling, prude, judgmental guy, and that he is being a poor friend and crossing the line of basic human decency by labeling "slut" a member and common friend of the group.

Thanks for the insight on the context.
I wasn't familiar with the relationships behind the movie scene.
Looks like it's not easy to navigate these situations.

I think the best angle defense, in this case, is to frame Marshal as being a controlling, prude, judgmental guy, and that he is being a poor friend and crossing the line of basic human decency by labeling "slut" a member and common friend of the group.

This makes the most sense.
When in doubt, go back to the frame of not accepting abuse.
Especially since this is among friends.

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