Please or Register to create posts and topics.

My Journey to Power

PreviousPage 15 of 17Next

I have another success to share with you and on this one you will see that you guys played a HUGE part in it. This is really a shared success.

I acquired a growth mindset. I now have an anti-fragile ego. I realised it today.

Of course, there's never 100% and what does it really mean? It does not make me better than anyone. It helps me to learn faster and suffer less emotionally from getting hurt. It's a mental tool of course.

And one could point out that saying you have a growth mindset is a fixed mindset thinking. I get that.

However, it's impossible to quantify. Do I have a 60% GM? A 80%? A 95%? A 99%? It's unknowable. We could take it as how many times out of 100% you react with a fixed mindset. This is not relevant for this post.

What I wanted to share with you is that it took me about 3-4 years I would say since the first time I encountered this concept. So like anything in self-development it takes times as we have to change at the biological level (brain connections, etc.).

If this inspires you to develop any further on acquiring a growth mindset, great! I'm happy to share what I know (see "Learner mindset" in "Mindsets" on the forum if interested in some bricks of this mindset).

What this post is not: social climbing nor a competition. As I said it's a personal success I want to share not a badge of honour.

So thank you very much to everyone who helped me and is helping me on this path of growth! 🙂

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Rock on, that's huge.

You made me reflect now if I have it already ingrained it "deeply enough" :).
And it was a good reminder that nope, I can go further.

John Freeman has reacted to this post.
John Freeman
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hello Lucio,

Thank you! As I said, it's not 100% so I would not pretend to be an expert on that. However, if you have any questions or roadblock regarding this topic, I'm happy to reflect with you on those. I'm sure we have some wisdom to share about it.

And yes, it's important to acknowledge what we still have to learn so we can continue to progress.


Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Yeah, if you have any tips or any idea on what you think helped you ingrain that mindset, happy to read.

I personally also think it's a matter of context.
In some contexts -ie.: on a date or in your preferred career field-, it's important for you to care about power, status and reputation, so you may want to focus on that as well,
In some other contexts, you can completely disregard status and reputation, and completely focus on learning even if that means falling on your face, and looking and acting like an idiot as you learn.

John Freeman has reacted to this post.
John Freeman
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

In a sense what you say is correct. However, the problem is that the area where we care more about status than learning, we will not grow as fast as it would be possible.

So based on what you said, here is my opinion:

  1. I think it's important to value learning over power, status and reputation so you can have power, status and reputation in the long run
  2. It's also about getting into the habit of asking for feed-back as often as possible
  3. Admit that you don't know something as soon as you encounter something you don't know
  4. Admit that you're wrong as soon as you recognize it
  5. When someone gives a negative feed-back, not to defend but to listen. To resist to the temptation to defend. Example: recently a faulty behaviour pattern in me was pointed out. I did not defend. I asked for clarifications, I did my best to explain the person giving me the feed-back what was my perspective and what I was not understanding (blindspot). However, my focus was on learning. I did not care about my reputation. Otherwise I would have defended and not learn.

The trick of the learner mindset is to be proud to not know something or to be wrong. You get a boost in self-esteem by admitting what you don't know and your mistakes.

It's about valuing the learning over our ego basically. When we defend it's a lost opportunity to fix an insecurity/a flaw. Then we get to keep it and that is disempowering in itself.

So these are the obstacles I identified. I would say the larger one is our ego, i.e the image we try to maintain towards ourselves and others.

It's a trap since this image prevents us from going to the next step of our evolution. I'll take a silly example despite my certitude of your understanding of the concept: if we see ourselves as a tricycle rider, we cannot access to being a 2-wheeled bike rider.

So it's also valuing the being rather than the appearance. Then when our being is of higher quality, we are naturally of higher power. All the rest stays: frame "control", displaying high power and high value. However, there is not anymore this layer of insecurities about our skills, etc.

We trade a short-term loss of status for a long term gain of skills, well-being, etc. leading to an increase of status in the long run.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Listening to the book "Mate" (great book, thanks for the recommendation, Lucio!)

I'm happy because I found the root cause to several issues I encounter: I have a Willpower problem. Not discipline which is more vague in my mind and harder to achieve, but Willpower. I think it's easier for me to think: "how can I increase my willpower" or "have willpower" rather than discipline.

I found a book about willpower that I will listen to as soon as I'm done with Mate.


Hello everyone,

I want to share with you that I’m EXPLODING in my life right now.

Professionnally and personnally.

All the mental energy that I used for the exam is now used in other areas of my life.

I owe it A LOT to you guys!

So this post is both an update and a statement of gratefulness.


Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and 2 other users have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettMitch WhiteBel

Rock on, John!

And BTW:

Quote from John Freeman on September 25, 2022, 5:03 pm

I found a book about willpower that I will listen to as soon as I'm done with Mate.

Curious to hear what your thoughts on that will be, let us know if it's any good.


John Freeman has reacted to this post.
John Freeman
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I will of course!

Another Success to share: we published today on the hospital's intranet (12'000 employees) the announcement of the creation of the committee of the resident physicians in paediatrics. I wrote the text. I won't publish it here as I would have to blur too much of it and it's kind of internal information.

Anyway, I already got feed-back from people. My name is first and they even put my picture as a contact.


TPM is in da house!

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Here is the email that I sent today to all personnel of the department (1'500 people):

Dear colleagues, dear colleagues,

It is with joy that we announce the creation of the Committee of Resident Physicians of Pediatrics of (my hospital, linking to the webpage of the announce on the intranet with the text I wrote and the image we chose)

The current members of the committee (with their positions until 31.10.2022) are:

(list of 5 members + current position with a link to their intranet profile)

In the link, their Intranet profile with their email and telephone contacts and their photos to recognize them and talk to them at the hospital, if necessary.

We work closely with the management of the department 1, service 1, association 1, association 2, entity 1 in another department.
We are working with the management on several projects, the progress of which we will keep the resident physicians up to date.
We are happy to join in any initiative aimed at developing cohesion and medical-nursing and interprofessional collaboration in general within the pediatric and neonatology departments.

We would like to warmly thank (list of 5 people, including the big boss of the whole department, head secretary, etc.) for their trust, support, help and advice.
This is also an opportunity for us to extend a warm welcome to (new big boss of the paediatrics service) with whom we are delighted to collaborate.

For any question or remark, you can write to us at the generic email (generic email address), noted by all the members of the committee.
All written communication will be treated confidentially. We are also available for a face-to-face discussion if needed.

Due to the upcoming departure of the committee of (2 committee members) for professional reasons, we are recruiting new members to the committee.
We wish them every success in their next position and thank them for their commitment and diligence.

The emails we send you will bear the mention [(label for our group)] in the subject, to allow you to better identify them.

Cordial greetings,

For the committee,

John Freeman,

(then my coordinates)

Once again this is not only my success or the success of the group which I represent, it's also a success of TPM.

So you see Lucio, how your students apply the knowledge you teach. This is also a feed-back of how what you teach us here, in PU, in the blog, on youtube blossom in real life.

I might have done it anyway without having learned about machiavellism or not, who knows? It does not matter.

I did it with the support of many people, including the mental and emotional support I received here through all the feed-backs and original threads from you. What is 100% sure is the way I did it was in large part shaped with what I learned here.

So thank you very much again!

Of course, this is only the beginning 😉

(see Lucio, just like you I avoid winks as much as possible, but this one is well deserved and not a sarcastic power move of course, more of a cheeky one).

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano
PreviousPage 15 of 17Next