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My leadership mistakes
Hello TPM community,
in this thread, I'll document my leadership mistakes as an attending physician in a hospital:
After 8 months:
- Too high expectations: many people don't want to become the best they can be. Some people just want to enjoy their work. So it can trigger conflicts.
- Being too demanding: goes back to 1: some people have a limited IQ and capacities. It's important to recognise it to be able to mitigate it: learning ability, fixing their mistakes behind them.
- Not building enough trust/team spirit before demanding high performance: if one goes as I did, people will go: "who's this guy to ask this of me"
- Not considering fragile ego/fixed mindset people: these people are the hardest to coach. They have to be pampered and stroked. Noted.
- Not being present enough: in the ED, the team wants to see you. Even if it's just to reassure. As a leader we're a figurative daddy. It costs me in terms of efficacy as I cannot focus as well as in my office to do my paperwork (I'm behind since I'm focussing on the team and the clinical work) but that's the only way. People demand a lot of energy. Also if people don't see you they think you're not working. And most people already think that the boss is not working. Actually as attending our workload is about 2x the workload of residents. But they don't know it.
As @transitioned said:
Most people dont care about the org only what they can get, what they can get away with and what their boss thinks
The mission, the patients, the team, etc. It's all good but for high performers who are mission driven. So a small minority who need little coaching in the end. But the majority of the team is constituted of "normal people" who just want the above. Reality check but I'm not too surprised not thrown off either. Just a matter of adaptation and holding hands. Easy.
Strategy
As an ex-nice guy (I love this identity), I used to want too much to be liked. Now I need to push the needle back in the other direction as I'm being perceived by my subordinates as too strict/demanding. So I have to down it down. I also see the benefit of having early individual (coaching) interviews with residents. Ideally that would be with all of them but I'm coaching 3 at the moment and don't want to step on other people's toes.
So now I'm in a phase where I'm working to build trust and not to hurt too fragile egos. So it's about leading by example and showing the team I'm ready to suffer for the team, as Tom Bilyeu puts it. Then I can set expectations. First things first.
Hello TPM community,
in this thread, I'll document my leadership mistakes as an attending physician in a hospital:
After 8 months:
- Too high expectations: many people don't want to become the best they can be. Some people just want to enjoy their work. So it can trigger conflicts.
- Being too demanding: goes back to 1: some people have a limited IQ and capacities. It's important to recognise it to be able to mitigate it: learning ability, fixing their mistakes behind them.
- Not building enough trust/team spirit before demanding high performance: if one goes as I did, people will go: "who's this guy to ask this of me"
- Not considering fragile ego/fixed mindset people: these people are the hardest to coach. They have to be pampered and stroked. Noted.
- Not being present enough: in the ED, the team wants to see you. Even if it's just to reassure. As a leader we're a figurative daddy. It costs me in terms of efficacy as I cannot focus as well as in my office to do my paperwork (I'm behind since I'm focussing on the team and the clinical work) but that's the only way. People demand a lot of energy. Also if people don't see you they think you're not working. And most people already think that the boss is not working. Actually as attending our workload is about 2x the workload of residents. But they don't know it.
As @transitioned said:
Most people dont care about the org only what they can get, what they can get away with and what their boss thinks
The mission, the patients, the team, etc. It's all good but for high performers who are mission driven. So a small minority who need little coaching in the end. But the majority of the team is constituted of "normal people" who just want the above. Reality check but I'm not too surprised not thrown off either. Just a matter of adaptation and holding hands. Easy.
Strategy
As an ex-nice guy (I love this identity), I used to want too much to be liked. Now I need to push the needle back in the other direction as I'm being perceived by my subordinates as too strict/demanding. So I have to down it down. I also see the benefit of having early individual (coaching) interviews with residents. Ideally that would be with all of them but I'm coaching 3 at the moment and don't want to step on other people's toes.
So now I'm in a phase where I'm working to build trust and not to hurt too fragile egos. So it's about leading by example and showing the team I'm ready to suffer for the team, as Tom Bilyeu puts it. Then I can set expectations. First things first.
Kavalier and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
So basically increase my warmth after having demonstrated authority.
So basically increase my warmth after having demonstrated authority.
Kavalier and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
Other important points:
- Leading from the front AKA leading by example
- Now that I have rank and power, it’s moving “back” to leading and influencing. I think I needed this time of adaptation to learn what is expected of me, the pitfalls, feeling secure in my rank and leadership, etc. Now I can go back to the core of leadership: gaining influence through giving value, offering support, showing how it’s done, suffering for the team, bringing positivity etc. , the challenge is that the people I’m leading are not the most mature people. I don’t think I was better at their age. I could not tell but this is my current situation. I cannot expect them to understand me. This is on me.
Other important points:
- Leading from the front AKA leading by example
- Now that I have rank and power, it’s moving “back” to leading and influencing. I think I needed this time of adaptation to learn what is expected of me, the pitfalls, feeling secure in my rank and leadership, etc. Now I can go back to the core of leadership: gaining influence through giving value, offering support, showing how it’s done, suffering for the team, bringing positivity etc. , the challenge is that the people I’m leading are not the most mature people. I don’t think I was better at their age. I could not tell but this is my current situation. I cannot expect them to understand me. This is on me.
Kavalier and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
I did a 180° in terms of attitude: more warmth, more humour, more vulnerability.
I was too tough and hard on them. I made a mistake about my role. I'm a daddy not a drill sergeant. So improved relationships with everyone.
I think I was right to work to get respect in the first place. And now that I have it I can ease it now. So it's about phases. Next time I'll be less cold in the first phase anyway.
I did a 180° in terms of attitude: more warmth, more humour, more vulnerability.
I was too tough and hard on them. I made a mistake about my role. I'm a daddy not a drill sergeant. So improved relationships with everyone.
I think I was right to work to get respect in the first place. And now that I have it I can ease it now. So it's about phases. Next time I'll be less cold in the first phase anyway.
Lucio Buffalmano, Kavalier and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoKavalierPower Duck
My biggest mistake: not to build relationships enough. There are people I don't like and therefore I did not want to build relationships with them. Huge mistake as it bit me in the ass back.
So I'm actually studying Extreme Ownership Academy from Jocko Willink (The power of relationships). I was blind. Now I see.
The tragedy is that once again, just like you have to understand your job as a resident, you have to understand your job as an attending. There's no courses, no training program. It's learning by trial-and-error. And I'm lucky enough to have resources such as TPM. Imagine if I would not.
Off-topic
It's excellent and worth the price (if you're a leader/middle manager at work).
I think it deserves a (hihg) place in leadership resources on TPM. These are battle-hardened professionals and experienced leaders taking practical situations/scenarios to explain the principles. It does not get better than this other than IRL training. Jocko has been thinking and re-thinking leadership his whole life. His a master at it. No doubt.
/Off-topic
My biggest mistake: not to build relationships enough. There are people I don't like and therefore I did not want to build relationships with them. Huge mistake as it bit me in the ass back.
So I'm actually studying Extreme Ownership Academy from Jocko Willink (The power of relationships). I was blind. Now I see.
The tragedy is that once again, just like you have to understand your job as a resident, you have to understand your job as an attending. There's no courses, no training program. It's learning by trial-and-error. And I'm lucky enough to have resources such as TPM. Imagine if I would not.
Off-topic
It's excellent and worth the price (if you're a leader/middle manager at work).
I think it deserves a (hihg) place in leadership resources on TPM. These are battle-hardened professionals and experienced leaders taking practical situations/scenarios to explain the principles. It does not get better than this other than IRL training. Jocko has been thinking and re-thinking leadership his whole life. His a master at it. No doubt.
/Off-topic
Transitioned, Kavalier and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
TransitionedKavalierPower Duck
My biggest leadership mistake so far was to underestimate the power of relationships.
I am doing Jocko Willink's course on this topic.
Game.Changer.
My biggest leadership mistake so far was to underestimate the power of relationships.
I am doing Jocko Willink's course on this topic.
Game.Changer.
Transitioned and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
