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My Yale professor responded to my review on his class...

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I might be wrong, but when you talk about my bias, I feel like you're focusing more on the latter, on who's to blame, rather than on the feedback about the exchange.

No, I'm talking about how I felt in this situation.

I still think -and might easily be wrong- that the feedback was largely neutral and impersonal.

With some perspective I agree but in the moment that's not how I felt about it.

Funny enough, if one had to point a major "mistake" or "guilt" that weighed on this exchange, it was probably all mine ?

I don't think so. As I said, I'll say it again, my mistakes were:

  1. To engage in the conversation in the first place
  2. To not stopping engaging when it was taking a turn I did not felt was productive
  3. To accept you as a 3rd party in this situation, triggering a savior-victim-perpretrator cycle. I was aware of this risk when I accepted your feed-back, however I took the chance. I thought maybe we could avoid it since it was feed-back with the intention of learning. The dynamics took over anyway.

I created a lot of confusion by not saying this first and foremost:

My feedback was as a user, not as an admin.

It could have helped. However that's why I talked about biases. They're unconscious. So one cannot be aware of his/her biases. That is the definition. You are all of these roles. So you cannot cut yourself in half to answer as a user, then as an admin. That's the issue when one person assumes many roles. And this disadvantage has no mitigation apart from delegation and separation of roles. That's why Montesquieu talked about the separation of powers.

This was a small quibble between two smart guys who can clarify things on their own, and that needed no admin intervention.

We'll never know. It's not about being smart. Many smart people don't get along. And egos come into play as we saw. Here we can also see the confusion of roles as you say that you gave feed-back as a user and then say that we needed no admin intervention.

I want to make this clear: I'm not blaming you nor Ali. I'm taking my responsibility in this exchange. I knew this was going to take a bad turn, I thought I could prevent it and I was wrong. Lesson learned.

I thank you for your transparency and I understand you want to grow your community. I think you're navigating all this well and are addressing people's questions and needs. I don't think because 2 people are arguing on a forum that they won't come back.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood

No, I'm talking about how I felt in this situation.

And:

With some perspective I agree but in the moment that's not how I felt about it.

OK, cool, I think I had totally misunderstood your original message, thinking it referred to how you feel today.

Alright, see you around other threads, then :).

If anyone else wants to give any feedback, please let us know.

John Freeman has reacted to this post.
John Freeman
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

When we take some distance, things become clearer. 🙂

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