Please or Register to create posts and topics.

Negotiation power moves: she tried to turn the tables on me (nice try!)!!

This is funny.

You can always count on a hot woman (or a woman whom she thinks she's hot) to play the biggest power moves :D.

Here is the quick story:

I'm renting out space in a place where everyone is looking for accommodation.

That of course, puts all the power on my sides.

I want to see people who actually read the ad and who are a good fit.

Since I can choose, I demand that people make an effort to show me they're good fit.

But of course, you always get the smartass who think they can work around the rules... And be the exception.

Look at the typical email I receive:

Typical email, and not bad.

Gives me all the info and why she is a good fit.
This is the type of email I'd be inclined to reply to.

But now look at this other lady:

It costs her no effort and it makes people curious to click on her profile.
And once you do...

She got that "my milk drives all the boys to the yard type of picture".

Ahaha I gotta laugh at these power moves :D.

I bet many men even fall for that (facepalm).

Now, if you were interested.... How do you reply to that and keep the power?

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

How do you know that was a power move? She could really be that dumb. Either way though, I would not simply not reply. Any reply would imply that you are invested in the conversation.

Yes, it might be she's dumb.

But to classify as a "power move", one does not necessarily have to be conscious about it.
And doesn't even need to be super smart.

She probably didn't come out thinking "I'm hot, so I've got what he wants, and he's got what I want, but I will try to make him chase me first, so I got the power".

No, she didn't.
She just approached it as she usually behaves with people and, mostly, to how she behaves with men.

She didn't do it consciously, but it's still a power move.
And to tie back to your previous post: that's where awareness of power dynamics helps you. You know what's going on, and you can select the best behavior for the situation.

In this case: you're right.
Don't reply.
Also because you don't want people with that power mindset around you.
But it's knowledge of the power dynamics that allows you to choose people around who are less about power, and more about collaboration.

Or you can reply:

Yes.

That way, you put the ball in her court and make her invest more.

Or:

Yes.
Tell me something about you

That's even more powerful, because it reinforces that you are the choosers.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

But to classify as a "power move", one does not necessarily have to be conscious about it.

 

This kind of hit the nail on the head for me. It's interesting to realize that most people are not conscious about why and how they act. Most cases, people generally want to be nice but aren't able to explain why they act a certain way towards someone. Like if a woman is getting hit on by a guy with a nervous smile, she'll probably be a bit of a bitch to him even though there's no reason to be.

Regardless of whether they are consciously pulling power moves or not, does not excuse bad behaviour.

Quote from Wil on January 19, 2020, 8:13 pm

But to classify as a "power move", one does not necessarily have to be conscious about it.

Regardless of whether they are consciously pulling power moves or not, does not excuse bad behaviour.

Exactly!

That one is conscious about it suggests that he is smarter, more Machiavellian, or more knowledgeable.

That one is not conscious about it, suggests that one is more "natural" about being a POS.

I don't know which one would be worse, to be honest.
But it doesn't matter, because bad behavior is bad behavior.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?