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New to the forum & happiness

Hi Lucio and forum members,

I wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying the PU course and the Ultimate power ebook. Thank you.

I also wanted to ask if anyone has read a book by Dan Sullivan titled "The Gap and the Gain"? The book points out that most people who are unhappy measure their success looking forward against an idea of what they wanted to achieve - which he calls the Gap. People that are happy measure their success looking backward based on what they accomplished -which he calls the Gain.

I found it to really be an amazing concept. I have been a Gap person my whole life and realized that I unintentionally raised my daughters - 26 and 23 that way. I think that might be why they both have anxiety issues. I'm working to change my mindset, but wanted to share this with you and everyone so you knew it existed. It fits in very well with PU’s growth and antifragil ego material. I would love to know your or anyone’s thoughts.
Francis Brown
Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and 4 other users have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettJackMats GBelPower Duck

Welcome to the forum Francis! Happy to have you with us.

I haven't heard of the book but the concept is very interesting. Thank you for sharing it!

Looking back at the past few years before I joined PU I can definitely see a trend of Gap-mindset. I probably haven't overcome it completely yet but the Ultimate Power book has been an incredibly step into mental empowerment for me.

While the Gap mindset might play a part in your daughters having anxiety I also wouldn't place too much emphasis on that. Growing up is hard no matter what you do and anxiety is incredibly common. Still there's plenty of time for them (and us) to change mindsets and improve our well being. Just the fact that you've noticed this in yourself is already a huge win.

Looking forward to interacting more in the forum.


Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and 2 other users have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettBelPower Duck

Welcome here Francis!

Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and Bel have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettBel

Hello Francis and welcome (and thank you for the kind words)!.

I haven't read that book yet, but it does sound like a very interesting, plausible, and potentially practically useful concept.

If I also look at myself as a very first and rough example to get an idea, it could indeed make sense.

And one last personal opinion: as for "you transmitting the wrong mindset to your daughter, and that's why they now have X issue", I really wouldn't blame you for that.
There is simply no way to know it and it's a common human bias to make up connections between things that, often, are just random and/or outside our control. And, from my point of view, it even seems unlikely you could "teach" that type of "wrong mindset".
Probably more likely that anxiety is a very human feeling that comes "natural" to many -doesn't mean you necessarily must accept it or can't fix it, of course: you can and should. But in my humble opinion it probably means that you and your "gap personality" have little to do with it-.

Hopefully soon I or someone from the TPM community can give that book a good review :).

Welcome again!

Ali Scarlett, Mats G and 2 other users have reacted to this post.
Ali ScarlettMats GBelPower Duck
Community, new content and Charisma University moved here.

Hello Francis and welcome!

Lucio Buffalmano and Power Duck have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoPower Duck

Hi Francis, and welcome.

this does sound like the idea of:

-Low mood is the result of struggling to reach one’s goal; chronic low mood is the result of persisting into unreachable goal.

-good mood is the result of making progress towards one’s goal.

This is from the book “ good reasons for bad feelings”

Power Duck has reacted to this post.
Power Duck

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