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“No problem” power move
Hello TPM community,
Lucio posted a video below about the “no problem” power move (thanks BTW).
Like everyone I’ve been on the receiving end of it. I personally use it very rarely rarely.
I’m going to do the exercise of responding to it.
Proposed solutions
Power player: no problem
Defender: yeah nah no problem.
This is a way of sterilizing it (remove the power component). To say “there is indeed no problem in this situation so there is no debt.” It thread expands on the “problem” though.
Power player: no problem
Defender: Hahaha indeed.
Here it’s more of the shaming approach, ridiculizing even: “your remark is stupid, what do you even mean?”
Power player: no problem
Defender: (frowned eyebrows, head shake, downward smile)
This is also shaming it is as low investment as it gets. It implies: “it’s weird/out of place/ridiculous”.
Power player: no problem
Defender: cool with me/all good
Same as the first one: by mirroring it puts both on an equal foot.
Alternatives:
- Surfacing (“what do you mean?”): I don’t think it’s the best approach and I could be wrong. It’s too high investment, thread expands and it allows the other person to hide under the “that was an innocent remark” cover: “I meant it’s alright”.
- Ignoring: I don’t think it works so well here but again I could be wrong. I’m also not the best one as using ignoring actively as I understood Lucio suggested in the past: look quickly at the person with a neutral expression then somewhere else.
- Philosopher’s frame: I don’t think it works too well here as it is to high investment.
Thanks John I don't think I've actually had this one used on me but I must have
Noteworthy literally I have added it to my notes on common judge power moves such as thank you perfect and correct.
I wouldn't use it with my manager for obvious reasons.
But I could see myself using it to dismiss other managers when they are trying to heap crap.
E g. Other sideways Mgr: Your project is rubbish because....blah blah.
Me: No Problem
Anyway. .. .(then talk about why my project is awesome)
A quick note on this.
Most of the guys on this forum already probably know, but still:
- "No problem" is a colloquialism, a common figure of speech, so it's often is just that, a stock response with no ill-intent
- It can often be fair to use
For example, if you're late and the other person is on time:
You: sorry the delay mate
Friend: no problem, all good mate, you hungry mate?
That's fair because you are "in the wrong".
So it would be out of place to "defend" in this case -and anytime when you've done something "wrong"-.
On the other hand, if you are BOTH late and you say "sorry", then you'd expect your friend to either apologize back, or to say "no it's OK I'm ALSO late".
If he doesn't but say "no problem", that's then a power move / social scalping.
In this case, you'd want to defend and potentially even call it out ("wait, you were also running late, right? OK, so glad that there was no harm done")
Just to stay on the clear though, whenever the thing people apologize for is small, I generally use "it's all good" as a stock phrase.
Thanks Lucio, this is helpful. BTW you’re right:
I’m glad that there was no harm done
is better.
I also want to say that “no problem” is the same as “no worries”.
It actually happened to me today on WA as we were planning a beer tonight with a friend :
Him: we can go by the lake
Me: yeah sure.
Me: I’ll arrive at 8pm in town as I finish at 6pm
Me: I can leave a little bit earlier that being said
Him: No worries!
Here it’s a grey area: I somehow apologize to not be able to come earlier. That’s my mistake. Next time I’ll say the time that works for me without apologizing for it.
However I did nothing wrong. I even give value by letting him know I can come earlier (higher investment on my side). So to me it’s a power move in this case.
Here I did not answer anything as I’m still in the observing phase. So I’m gathering intel at this stage.
Next time:
Him: No worries!
Me: cool with me :)
To keep rapport and low investment in a WA group. The one you wrote I will experiment with it in spoken language.
Yes, great point John, no worries is very similar.
And also agree that "no worries" was out of place there.
Thank you Lucio!
Him: No worries!
Me: cool with me too :)
slight modification.
