Please or Register to create posts and topics.

NOT taking things personally is power

Hello guys,

I want to share with you a simple idea around why I think it is important to not take things personally.

It is because by taking things personally we give someone else the power to affect your emotions and/or hurt you.

By not taking things personally it means we don’t internalize the other person’s perspective/frame.

Or at least it gives us the choice whether or not we internalize the other person’s perspective on us.

That is why emotional manipulation is a powerful tool. It is because by having control over our emotions, the person has control over us and our actions.

What do you guys think about this?

Oh gosh, yes, yes, and yes.

SO powerful and important.

If I look back at my personal development, one of the biggest step foward was learning to take things far less personally -still a long way to go, but even with the steps taken so far, it has improved my life so much-.
And not just from a power dynamics point of view, but also plainly from a "pleasure of living" point of view. When more events that used to upset you in the past wash over you like water off a duck's back.. You enjoy life more

And yes, I totally agree with you, among the many upsides, it's that you are also more impervious to manipulation.

 

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Oh, BTW, I'm reading Albert Ellis' "How to keep people from pushing your buttons". Summary coming soon, and it's a great resource for mental control and development.

 

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on August 21, 2020, 9:05 am

Oh, BTW, I'm reading Albert Ellis' "How to keep people from pushing your buttons". Summary coming soon, and it's a great resource for mental control and development.

Looking forward to it!

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” - Lao Tzu

Always interested in developing my mental control and development further.
Thanks for the recommendation.

There seems to be 2 versions of the book.
Would you recommend one over another?

https://www.bookdepository.com/How-Keep-People-From-Pushing-Your-Buttons-Albert-Ellis/9780806538099?ref=grid-view&qid=1598088184546&sr=1-1

https://www.bookdepository.com/How-Keep-People-From-Pushing-Your-Buttons-Albert-Ellis/9781472142825?ref=grid-view&qid=1598088184546&sr=1-2

I wanted to paste one screenshot for each version.
However, I have not been able to figure out how to embed images despite trying out the image and embed functionalities.

Hey Matthew,

Whenever I am not sure about a version, I usually:

  • Check the number of pages
  • If pages are the same, or more in the latest version, I go for the latest version

If pages are fewer, than I do a quick online research to make sure that it' not a "trimmed-down" version.

In this case, page numbers are the same, so I'd go for the one released in 2019.

 

 

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hi Lucio,

Thank you for your advice on how to select a version.

I checked that both books had the same number of pages.
As such, I wasn't sure of the right book.

I will go for the latest book in this case.

Keen to check out the book soon.