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Not using "because"
Hello guys,
this is experimental. I realized that you don't have to use "because" which sounds like you're justifying yourself.
Example 1
Person: Why did you leave the stove on?
You: Because I was in a hurry
Example 2
Person: Why did you leave the stove on?
You: I was in a hurry
Example 2 sounds more powerful in my opinion. It expresses the same idea with less words.
Feel free to give your opinion if you like.
Cheers!
Hello, John
I think the difference is very subtle, so much that I believe it would get lost in the overall context (the body language, the tonality etc). But it's subtleties like these that make it fun, so it's definetely worth it putting it to test!
I like this concept. I see some possible distinctions:
- at one extreme is when you want to persuade someone: Cialdini in his book “Influence” tells that just using the word “because”, even if no explanation follows, makes it more likely that the other will comply with the request;
- at the other extreme is where a (social) enemy is trying to power move, put one on the spot, etc.: in this case avoiding the word “because” is definitely higher power, and very advisable, if one is speaking about oneself (and it’s also lower investment).
Yeah, I like and agree with this.
Of course tonality, body language, and all the nonverbals matter, btu generally speaking "because" is often used when one is either defending, explaining his behavior away, or seeking absolution -the verbal lessons on high/low power may mention or at least add "because" to the low power "verbose defensive explanations" if I recall correctly-.
Since "because" comes so natural to many, it's also possible to swap it with something else.
For example, as a bridge:
You: Yeah, I was in a hurry
The "yeah" sub-communicates that "yes, I know it wasn't correct", without going the distance and apologize.
Edit:
Come to think of it, I use that "yeah" format a lot
Hi John,
This is a great mention!, I agree with you.
I realized that you don't have to use "because" which sounds like you're justifying yourself.
With this, I believe using "because" less in emails especially, will help the sender to sound more confident.
What are your thoughts?
Changed my mind. Removing "becauses" does sound more badass:
Ned Stark: why weren't you there to protect your prince?
Ser Arthur Dayne: Our prince wanted us here
In the overall scene, I can see no place for a "because". Notice how he also raises his eyebrows, removing further this "low power" effect. He answers, but at least keeps his judge power.
I went further in the analysis of this scene, but as I have extrapolated the analysis of because, I decided to make it it's own entry in the forum.
I do agree with Bel, though. Lucio also teaches this in PU or SU. So becauses are great when attempting at influence (it's delivered from a leading position), but better removed/substituted when answering (it's delivered an already low power position).
Thank you, Lucio, Bel, John!
