Tail-end questions: how to persuade, reach more people, & get your value back
In this tread.
Right after this long post, I ask:
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 11, 2022, 11:44 pmDamn, that was a long one :).
Let me know if it makes sense and/or if you think this thread is link-worthy.
Before reading on, think about it:
Did it have any effect on you?
Now, in that case, I was truly curious about both questions -either follow-up questions, or if others thought it was "PU-worthy"-.
Yet, there is also an added use for a post (or comment) like that.
And you can use it strategically in your life even if you're not strictly interested in the answers.
Plus, you can always use the "comment" component without the question.
How was it useful?
Well, imagine for example, If I had just dropped the original long post, without follow-ups.
In that case, more people might have skipped it.
And those who went through it might have skimmed through it or failed to see the value because they wouldn't have been properly "primed" to receive that value.
The second, shorter comment + question right after takes care of that priming, plus increases its reach.
This is how:
- The question "let me know if helpful" adds a motivation to read through
Whoever might have been interested in giving me feedback or keeping the conversation going now has one more reason to read the post.
They can give me value with their feedback, or keep the conversation going with their feedback.
Note: don't overdo or "motivation" can easily become "obligation", and then it's annoying if there is no value
- "That was long" and "PU-worthy" prime and focus readers on the (high) odds of value in the long post, thus increasing read-throughs
The remark "damn that was long" sub-communicates something like:
Phew, finally done, it took time and effort to write that
And people tend to (righteously) correlate "high effort" with "higher odds of value-giving".
Especially so if you've got good status and/or are seen as a smart, value-adding individual. Then your high effort is even more likely to correlate with high value.
And "let me know if it was PU worthy" is an even stronger signal that there might be a lot of potential value in that post, so readers are motivated to read on.
Plus, of course, the basics: the post "marked up" with quotes and titles indirectly says "Lucio took time to write this")
- The follow-up shines a larger light and gives more weight to the original post
By adding an "add-on" you also thread-expand on the post.
And it's a very useful way of thread expanding, because:
- The shorter follow-up increases the reach of your communication to those who skip long-content or who dozed off during your explanation
Many people, and even many smart long-content consumers who are short on time, skip long content.
The shorter communication will reach all those who skip long-content, and you will re-convert some of those to go through the long content.
The same works in verbal communication. When yo ask "does that make sense" people will "wake up" and try to go back and make sense of all the parts they dozed through.
Think about it the times someone asked that question in your life nad you'll probably remember you putting in more effort.
Finally, this technique is super useful for fair-value marketing:
- It highlights your giving, and nudges people to appreciate and give back
When you ask "was it useful" or "does it make sense", you sub-communicate that you took time and resources to share.
Even if they say no, the frame still is "I tried to give", which is still giving. And if they say yes, now it's surfaced that you've added real value
Use strategically, don't over-do
Obviously, don't over-do the technique as it can get annoying.
Especially if you do it when you've given little or when your giving was unrequested, then it becomes value-inflating, rather than fair-value.
And from "opportunity to get value" it becomes an obligation to read or listen, answer, and pretend it was value-giving.
It feels manipulative, and people will dislike you.
However, when you've shared something that took you time and/or that you think can be truly value-adding, this technique is golden.
PRO TIP: If you're unsure, use nudging comment, not questions
If you're unsure, use nudging comments rather than questions.
A question often implies an obligation -especially if you don't word it well-.
A comment instead requires nothing, but still nudges people in the same direction.
In the original example, a nudging comment would have been:
Damn, that came out long :).
But hopefully it's useful to you guys, and I'm thinking it might even be PU-worthy.
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Hey, this thread might be a nice addition to the forum guidelines :).
P.S.: The title says "nuding" instead of "nudging".
Thank you Ali!
Though at this point I'm wondering whether another name would make it more intuitive.
For example:
- Tag end questions
- End tag questions (a nice reference HTLM code)
- Post scriptum questions
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I value all the content here. Because it's a type and topic of discussion that you can't find elsewhere or at least find easily and in quantity elsewhere. To give a concrete example take my ongoing skirmishes with the change managers that I post to sporadically as a thread. I posted that on a couple of project management forums that's have some very experienced contributors. And the first response you always get is that's just your ego talking don't play politics do a good job and it will all come right on the night. I don't actually think the senior project manager are that naive I think that they have just become so good that they do what we are learning here like a fish breathes water.
Having said that I don't think anyone who is active on the forum would disagree with me when I say that all of lucio's content is very special. It's the difference between a talented amateur and a professional.
So if somebody is smart as luccio at this says a post is PU worthy then I absolutely will be taking notes and setting a reminder to visit PU later.
That's one side of it then the other is that it highlights to me I have to think quite deeply about the post. Because as I said you don't find this type of discussion anywhere else. So I am not familiar with thinking these type of conversations through so and need to practise.
Only thing I would add about this in the workplace. Chatted a couple of times with reasonably senior people I d say upper middle level and rising stars. I have put forward a plan of action and then ask them is that ok for you or are you comfortable or just happy?
Response I always seem to get is 'sure' like why are you asking me just bloody get on.with.it. so I have stopped doing that.
So maybe they feel that they are being pressured too much for their buy in. Or maybe they see it as time wasting their attention. It might also be a role and level change. when I was what most people see as a step lower a business analyst probably would have been OK. As a project manager maybe people expect me to be more assertive.the Whatever the reason it does seem to be a real thing.
Now this is very different to a forum situation. In this case there is so much content going past that this question is doing you a favour by calling out something that might be a real diamond.
Thank you for the kind words, Kevin!
And about your point:
Quote from Transitioned on April 16, 2022, 4:46 amOnly thing I would add about this in the workplace. Chatted a couple of times with reasonably senior people I d say upper middle level and rising stars. I have put forward a plan of action and then ask them is that ok for you or are you comfortable or just happy?
Response I always seem to get is 'sure' like why are you asking me just bloody get on.with.it. so I have stopped doing that.
So maybe they feel that they are being pressured too much for their buy in. Or maybe they see it as time wasting their attention. It might also be a role and level change. when I was what most people see as a step lower a business analyst probably would have been OK. As a project manager maybe people expect me to be more assertive.the Whatever the reason it does seem to be a real thing.
Now this is very different to a forum situation. In this case there is so much content going past that this question is doing you a favour by calling out something that might be a real diamond.
Interesting, thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, I think a lot of it also depends on how it's done and the situation.
In the specific of the exact words, "happy" can sound more like approval-seeking and like you're giving them a bit too much power.
"Comfortable" might disempower you or your work because at best they're "comfortable", which is the bare minimum, and if they have anything to add, it implies they weren't "comfortable", rather than, say, "just making some comments on an already solid plan".
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Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 15, 2022, 7:23 pmThank you Ali!
Though at this point I'm wondering whether another name would make it more intuitive.
For example:
- Tag end questions
- End tag questions (a nice reference HTLM code)
- Post scriptum questions
Small note on this:
I have a pretty good association with the name "tail end questions".
Would be easy to define in the TPM dictionary too (maybe something like "a question that is the last or hindmost part of a message").
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 16, 2022, 11:06 amThank you for the kind words, Kevin!
And about your point:
Quote from Transitioned on April 16, 2022, 4:46 amOnly thing I would add about this in the workplace. Chatted a couple of times with reasonably senior people I d say upper middle level and rising stars. I have put forward a plan of action and then ask them is that ok for you or are you comfortable or just happy?
Response I always seem to get is 'sure' like why are you asking me just bloody get on.with.it. so I have stopped doing that.
So maybe they feel that they are being pressured too much for their buy in. Or maybe they see it as time wasting their attention. It might also be a role and level change. when I was what most people see as a step lower a business analyst probably would have been OK. As a project manager maybe people expect me to be more assertive.the Whatever the reason it does seem to be a real thing.
Now this is very different to a forum situation. In this case there is so much content going past that this question is doing you a favour by calling out something that might be a real diamond.
Interesting, thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, I think a lot of it also depends on how it's done and the situation.
In the specific of the exact words, "happy" can sound more like approval-seeking and like you're giving them a bit too much power.
"Comfortable" might disempower you or your work because at best they're "comfortable", which is the bare minimum, and if they have anything to add, it implies they weren't "comfortable", rather than, say, "just making some comments on an already solid plan".
I am still curious about this. What I'm trying to balance between is being 'too approval seeking' and 'power protecting'.
I'd taken this note on power protecting:
"Or is there another direction you’d like to go” Say this in person or email when you’re giving options.
Is the difference that I'm not giving options I'm informing them what I plan to do?
Quote from Transitioned on May 3, 2022, 10:11 amI am still curious about this. What I'm trying to balance between is being 'too approval seeking' and 'power protecting'.
I'd taken this note on power protecting:
"Or is there another direction you’d like to go” Say this in person or email when you’re giving options.
Is the difference that I'm not giving options I'm informing them what I plan to do?
I think the main issue with this format is this:
It gives them too much power to undo everything you've said or proposed.
A simple "yes" and it means that what was said or proposed holds no more validity going forward.
Even if what they reply is based on what you said, you lose a lot of the credit because the new frame is that "it's their new direction" you're going into.
So I'd go for something that is still grounded on what you said previously.
A simple "what do you think about it" is a good start, as it still empowers them to be part of the decision-making, while also grounding whatever comes next on your original input.
Makes sense?
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