Offering to help without weakening your counterframe
I have these group of 3 managers who have been trying to push their accountability to sign off a system to me. Annoying because vi have been helping I just can't own it. I and boss have been pushing back. My job is running another project which connects to theirs systems wise.
One tried again. High power low warmth tone. Tried to task me with doing work on their design. I thanked her for her views and said not my job and if she wanted to run a group workshop we would attend.
There s some analysis I can do which would help. I want to offer the hand but make it clear she s driving I m just being helpful.
So here's what I said (pointing our her project is designing first so we will follow them - its not on us to lead it)
Transitioned:
If it’s for GAINS and the end to end you will have the requirements commented in the design document for Edin to design to. We can then pick up the fields from the design or tech design tables to include in the REX extract design when we get to our REX design which is soon.
If you’d like to workshop it like Jo’s doing this week with the IHG and Horizon teams we’re happy to attend.
So not too much he said/she said - straight and matter of fact and also pointing out that the other manager has stepped up and is running a workshop for her bit.
I'm going to have to go tomorrow. My objective is to pre-empt her positioning herself as the one who's trying to move things forward and I'm blocking/being difficult. Here's the email I was going to send:
Hi Terri
Hope you had a great break (we just had long weekend). Just to let you know where we are at. As you heard in the Thursday H/T20 we're making good progress in the project.
And we're all IHG so happy to help out from the sidelines on Horizon (her project) whenever we have availability.
Attached spreadsheet is my go at mapping the GAINS (existing system which she is expert in) file you shared with us to your design doc. I don't know GAINS or the file like you do so best efforts but perhaps it could be useful for your workshop or discussions with Edward and Patricia's team. Maybe have a look and see what you think?
Hi Transitioned,
I would consider going higher power and lower warmth, just like her.
She starts her email by addressing you by name only, which is a way of asserting control. I would do it back more subtly.
Something like:
Thank you Terri for your e-mail.
As you heard in the Thursday H/T20 we're making good progress in the project. And currently we're all IHG. But if availability should come in the future, of course we will be happy to help out from the sidelines also on Horizon.
Kind regards.
I would also consider not helping her for the moment, so no reattaching her file. She tried to assert control, so if you help her now, you confirm her frame.
If in the future she asks more kindly, you could change your mind.
Thanks Bel - I completely agree from a personal power point of view. The unknown is the attitude of my boss. He's a bit of a pleaser. Politically we're at the point where Horizon the larger program is burning cash and nobody wants to be seen to be holding it up. We're in one of the divisions . And Horizon is run from Group and funds all the Projects. So it may be one where I have to sacrifice some personal power to be seen to be swimming with the tide.
Hello Transitioned,
I want to contribute to your threads, but sometimes it's difficult for me to understand. So here are my questions:
Quote from Transitioned on June 13, 2022, 3:09 amI have these group of 3 managers who have been trying to push their accountability to sign off a system to me. Annoying because vi have been helping I just can't own it. I and boss have been pushing back. My job is running another project which connects to theirs systems wise.
What is vi?
There s some analysis I can do which would help. I want to offer the hand but make it clear she s driving I m just being helpful.
You mean that you want to help but don't want to be in charge, right?
If it’s for GAINS and the end to end you will have the requirements commented in the design document for Edin to design to. We can then pick up the fields from the design or tech design tables to include in the REX extract design when we get to our REX design which is soon.
what is REX?
If you’d like to workshop it like Jo’s doing this week with the IHG and Horizon teams we’re happy to attend.
What is IHG? It's your team? I understand Horizon is her project.
Hope you had a great break (we just had long weekend). Just to let you know where we are at. As you heard in the Thursday H/T20 we're making good progress in the project.
What is H/T20?
Politically we're at the point where Horizon the larger program is burning cash and nobody wants to be seen to be holding it up. We're in one of the divisions . And Horizon is run from Group and funds all the Projects. So it may be one where I have to sacrifice some personal power to be seen to be swimming with the tide.
So it means you will have to help anyway?
I'm not a native English speaker, so with the professional lingo and expressions, it becomes really difficult for me to understand your situation. I'm lost in translation 😀
If I understood right, you basically have to give a hand and you don't want to do it. However, you cannot say it directly because you're supposed to serve the big project (Horizon) of the company because it's a flagship. You would like to say "no" but your boss would not like it. So basically, you're doing the minimum expected so she cannot say that you were not collaborating. However, you don't want to be in charge because you would be overloaded with work and it's not your responsibility either.
Am I getting it right?
It's confusing to me, because it seems there are many games there from many people. So it's basically an organization where people push their work onto other people, is that the underlying problem of the culture of the organization?
I'm trying to understand.
I'd generally agree with Bel here, but it sounds like you adapted well to your situation by going in with both your boss and the overall context in mind.
Also, you may want to consider if you can go higher power and still be on good terms with your boss.
Ie.: if she thinks "yeah, he can show more teeth than I'd do sometimes, BUT he's overall a good guy and gets things done", then you can push back on Terri and Terri-like incursions a bit more strongly, and still be good with your boss.
Thanks John - we seem to bump into a lot of the same game players so I would love to hear your thinking.
VI was a typo - it was too late to edit when I noticed. We have 2 lots of projects - Horizon which is the big programme with all the money. Its migrating to a new core/ERP system for the whole company. They fund a bunch of projects called the T20. The idea of the T20 is to fix up some of the systems so they will work with the new ERP. H/T20 is the big weekly synch up meeting where we all try to align.
They are setting a frame of you should be checking the whole end to end sales promotions systems. That doesn't make any sense because they work across the Horizon teams where the build guys and the architects sit. Also these managers have years in the business and I have months. And BTW their official title is product owner so I'm guessing they should own the product 😉 So at best case they are confused on roles.
My boss and I have been telling the big bosses, I've helped a bit and now with my project hotting up I'm out of their design work.
They are trying to drag me back in. My frame in this email exchange is your design is first. You do that because we're not at that stage yet. And when we get to design, we will design it to support what you have built.
My challenge is I would like to help them with some of the detail to keep it moving and be seen to be helpful. But how do I do that without getting dragged back in.
Seemed to go well. I went with the collaborative frame and offered up the work I d done. Only technique I used was to put her stuff first in the email. (Wiffm upfront). Then my stuff about helping out from the sidelines at the end.