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On the overlap between psychopaths and power
Psychopaths are among the most power-bent people.
We discussed on the forum about an overlap between the idea of the “sociopath” and high-power behavior.
I want to share two things I have read recently that point in the same direction:
1. On a blog about abuse, narcissists, and sociopaths, I read about this idea:
That a way of responding to people using the “power of the group” to overpower someone is to respond:
I don’t care what others think or say.
As an example, in a private phone call:
Abuser: Everybody thinks you’re in the wrong!
Other person: I don’t care what others think.
The blogger mentioned that this often frightens abusers.
Why? Because only psychopaths don’t care about others to the extreme. And abusers usually are very keen to personality types. So this answer would make the abuser think (subconsciously) that the “mark” is potentially a psychopath.
2. On Quora, I read about a psychopath saying this:
My rule of thumb is... whenever I meet some one in the real life I find to be exceptionally cool in every way, ie their personality and achievements are so well liked by others they stand out way ahead of the crowd, I assume there is a significant chance they are a very high functioning psychopath.
This is very interesting. It points in the direction that some of the traits one wants to adopt to be “high-power” are precisely overlapping with those of psychopaths.
To be more precise, psychopaths are so power-bent to the exclusion of everything else that they usually ruin their lives in the end.
So the idea is not to adopt the “psychopath mindset” - which is totally evil and also totally impossible for normal empathetic people.
Rather, the idea is that some of the behaviors of psychopaths can point the way to high-power behaviors in general. There is an overlap, so to say.
And some other psychopaths’ behaviors may be useful in self-defense against dark triads exclusively.
As Peterson said, one is defenseless against malevolence unless one is capable of fully understanding their behavior and thinking.
Great post Bel. A quick note on the value of the frame 'I don’t care what others think.'
What I understand from your post is that it can act as a repellent for psychopaths (it frightens abusers) who may think you are one (and as such not an easy mark).
I have a lighter take on it: that frame works great when combined with humor. This is more for dating than for business, but 'I don’t care what others think.' + 'humor' has a lot of advantages as a frame. I call it 'self amusement.' The easiest example in a person I can think of: Pete Davison. He's out having fun mostly for himself, and he dates way above his leage. Perhaps because he's totally having fun himself without a care in the world.
The danger here (that would transition into ahole territory) is that you think yourself as better than others, or you subcommunicate you don't care about others. That's terrible. The vibe has to be 'without a care in the world, and you are with me on this lol'
Yep, great point on the overall concept, Bel, and it's also something that this website embraced.
On the specific of this one:
Quote from Bel on December 24, 2022, 11:04 pmAs an example, in a private phone call:
Abuser: Everybody thinks you’re in the wrong!
Other person: I don’t care what others think.
The blogger mentioned that this often frightens abusers.
Why? Because only psychopaths don’t care about others to the extreme. And abusers usually are very keen to personality types. So this answer would make the abuser think (subconsciously) that the “mark” is potentially a psychopath.
2. On Quora, I read about a psychopath saying this:
My rule of thumb is... whenever I meet some one in the real life I find to be exceptionally cool in every way, ie their personality and achievements are so well liked by others they stand out way ahead of the crowd, I assume there is a significant chance they are a very high functioning psychopath.
This is very interesting. It points in the direction that some of the traits one wants to adopt to be “high-power” are precisely overlapping with those of psychopaths.
To be more precise, psychopaths are so power-bent to the exclusion of everything else that they usually ruin their lives in the end.
So the idea is not to adopt the “psychopath mindset” - which is totally evil and also totally impossible for normal empathetic people.
Rather, the idea is that some of the behaviors of psychopaths can point the way to high-power behaviors in general. There is an overlap, so to say.
And some other psychopaths’ behaviors may be useful in self-defense against dark triads exclusively.
As Peterson said, one is defenseless against malevolence unless one is capable of fully understanding their behavior and thinking.
It can be great indeed in the right context.
And as long as it truly shines that you don't care.
Otherwise, there's a huge chunk of people who say "I don't really care what others think" while the exact reason why they say that is because they care a lot.
When it comes to frame control, it can be good if you're the high power person and are setting a strong line in the sand.
But it may not be ideal when the frame is about right or wrong and/or if there are people around and reputation matters.
Because otherwise you may entrench yourself in the wrong since the unspoken frame is that "if everyone agrees on X and only one disagrees, chances are that you're in the wrong".
So a better way may be:
Abuser: Everybody thinks you’re in the wrong!
Other person: everybody thought the earth was flat. But that's not the point, the point is the issue between you and I, not others, so let's stick with it. I've already said that... (broken record repeat)
