On the importance of profession

#1 · February 12, 2023, 12:09 pm

Quote from John Freeman on February 12, 2023, 12:09 pm
Hello everyone,

on my journey I had many failures. Long story short I ended up with two engineering degrees and one medical degree. This is not to boast it’s about context.

When I was failing people would look at me from above and being condescending. After all these years (20!) people admire me for that and I can now (finally) capitalize on this. When I lived in Brazil long time ago I did not want to use my “Swissness” as a selling point.

After learning here the importance of outside layers I accepted that even though I might want to be appreciated for my inside qualities we judge one another through external characteristics as well of course.

Now being both an engineer and a pediatrician I see that on dating apps and real life people value this a lot. That is often the first message I get on dating apps or meeting my friends’ friends: « how come you’re both an engineer and a doctor » or « so you’re a pediatrician ».

It puts me off a little bit as I can see that in the past I was not treated like that. So it might be the « previously fat now hot girl » syndrome professionally speaking.

So to me it feels a bit superficial as I would prefer to be appreciated for my inner qualities. My friends do of course so it definitely is also based on how much you know someone.

Here is another example. When you’re a resident, nurses don’t give you as much credibility. If you say the same thing than the resident as an attending physician or make a mistake they will believe you more and be more forgiving.

So I’m in a stage when I’m a bit disappointed with this part of human nature: labels, halo effect, rank, authority, appearances, etc. I understand as I react the same as well of course. I also understand that being Machiavellian means using this to one’s advantage.

What I’m curious about is what do you guys think about how we deal with appearances, labels, rank and the likes?

Like when the boss does a bad joke but everyone laughs. That is being treated differently based on outer characteristics. I understand that these labels are shortcuts for a more complex reality (a boss has this and this knowledge and experience, went through a lot, give an important kind of value) so they deserve a better treatment.

I watched a video on YT where he talks about all this is a theater (quoting Shakespeare) and we’re all playing roles at all times. That there is no « real us ». To me it is an empowering frame and at the same time I find it a bit sad. I often feel like that when seeing the World in a more accurate way. However it also makes me realize that the people who are what we idealize as « heroes » and who do their best on a daily basis are rarer than I would have thought. I think it all comes from me having idealized too much human nature in the past. The beautiful part is definitely there. I think it’s just rarer than I would like to admit.

So in the case of a profession one will be more socially valued in most cases as an asshole neurosurgeon than a trash man with a heart of gold. When personally I value them in the opposite way. This is not value signaling, it is my experience when connecting with someone. If someone has a prestigious profession and is an asshole then it’s the latter that counts for me. So it might also come down to values. I might not relate so much with other people who value these social values more than the personal ones. These are my thoughts on the topic.

Hello everyone,

on my journey I had many failures. Long story short I ended up with two engineering degrees and one medical degree. This is not to boast it’s about context.

When I was failing people would look at me from above and being condescending. After all these years (20!) people admire me for that and I can now (finally) capitalize on this. When I lived in Brazil long time ago I did not want to use my “Swissness” as a selling point.

After learning here the importance of outside layers I accepted that even though I might want to be appreciated for my inside qualities we judge one another through external characteristics as well of course.

Now being both an engineer and a pediatrician I see that on dating apps and real life people value this a lot. That is often the first message I get on dating apps or meeting my friends’ friends: « how come you’re both an engineer and a doctor » or « so you’re a pediatrician ».

It puts me off a little bit as I can see that in the past I was not treated like that. So it might be the « previously fat now hot girl » syndrome professionally speaking.

So to me it feels a bit superficial as I would prefer to be appreciated for my inner qualities. My friends do of course so it definitely is also based on how much you know someone.

Here is another example. When you’re a resident, nurses don’t give you as much credibility. If you say the same thing than the resident as an attending physician or make a mistake they will believe you more and be more forgiving.

So I’m in a stage when I’m a bit disappointed with this part of human nature: labels, halo effect, rank, authority, appearances, etc. I understand as I react the same as well of course. I also understand that being Machiavellian means using this to one’s advantage.

What I’m curious about is what do you guys think about how we deal with appearances, labels, rank and the likes?

Like when the boss does a bad joke but everyone laughs. That is being treated differently based on outer characteristics. I understand that these labels are shortcuts for a more complex reality (a boss has this and this knowledge and experience, went through a lot, give an important kind of value) so they deserve a better treatment.

I watched a video on YT where he talks about all this is a theater (quoting Shakespeare) and we’re all playing roles at all times. That there is no « real us ». To me it is an empowering frame and at the same time I find it a bit sad. I often feel like that when seeing the World in a more accurate way. However it also makes me realize that the people who are what we idealize as « heroes » and who do their best on a daily basis are rarer than I would have thought. I think it all comes from me having idealized too much human nature in the past. The beautiful part is definitely there. I think it’s just rarer than I would like to admit.

So in the case of a profession one will be more socially valued in most cases as an asshole neurosurgeon than a trash man with a heart of gold. When personally I value them in the opposite way. This is not value signaling, it is my experience when connecting with someone. If someone has a prestigious profession and is an asshole then it’s the latter that counts for me. So it might also come down to values. I might not relate so much with other people who value these social values more than the personal ones. These are my thoughts on the topic.

Lucio Buffalmano and Ali Scarlett have reacted to this post.

#2 · February 14, 2023, 4:16 pm

It's a very deep reflection, John.

I move it to "self-development" since it's not about a practical situation and between an actual question and a reflection.

And personally I feel similar to how you feel:

It's how it is, and it's a bit sad sometimes.

However, besides the "somewhat sad" I also find it interesting and sometimes amusing.

As for this:

Quote from John Freeman on February 12, 2023, 12:09 pm

However it also makes me realize that the people who are what we idealize as « heroes » and who do their best on a daily basis are rarer than I would have thought. I think it all comes from me having idealized too much human nature in the past. The beautiful part is definitely there. I think it’s just rarer than I would like to admit.

Yeah.

I queue post ideas sometimes and one of them is the "train analogy of development demographics".

Basically, only 10% of people advance the world -the locomotive engine-; 30% is outside in the necessarily supporting role of repairing / admin work; 50% mostly goes along for the ride and add no real value.
And 10% leach off and/or actively take value.

Same for the heroes: definitely a minority.

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#3 · February 14, 2023, 8:34 pm

Thanks Lucio, it warms my heart to read that you share my perception.

This reminds me the "It is what it is" that one can hear in (mafia) movies. I think this is about maturity as a human being.

"It is what it is" means to me 2 things together:

This is not the ideal situation I wanted but here we are.
This is no the ideal situation I wanted but I'm going to deal with it.

So it's about facing how the World really is and not what one would like it to be. There is also self-reflection in this: "I'm not this ideal being I would like to be but here I am". So I also have to deal with the way I am in the same way I deal with the way the World is. So there's humility in this: "I was wrong about the World and now I see clearer" with the mirror: "I was wrong about me and now I see clearer". So in this sense this new perception is empowering.