Quote from Transitioned on August 17, 2021, 9:16 am

 

 

Been a while since I contributed here so I'll have a go.

Well as usual I guess it depends how much skin you have in the game.

So 90% of the time if you care in the dating world it means it's a smoking hot chick.  So let's assume that.

It's still well out of order so I would personally be happy to risk a walk off.  I also think if a girl is this aggressive shock therapy is probably your only chance.

Option one look at her really curiously with a big smile on your face for a couple of seconds.  "Does that ever work?"

It's going meta and calling out her powermove and judging her.

And the other favourite move I used to pull if they tried the old I have a boyfriend (which is normally a lie).

"I like salad.". And when they go WTF

"Oh sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter. " With a big grin on your face

You could also try the philosopher's frame and say yeah that's really interesting the things that impress some people and then hit her with some interesting Pop psychology fact that you learnt here or even better on Cosmo.  That's just seems kind of weak to me considering how big the power moves was.

Quote from Growfast on August 17, 2021, 12:15 pm

(IGNORE THE FIRST MESSAGE IN FAVOR OF THIS)

There are situations like dates or even normal social circle situations where people try to one-up you by acting like a prize themselves.

Any thoughts on how you would have handled this situation?

 

Examples :-

 

Person - Impress/convince me

Response 1 - what makes you think you deserve to be convinced?

Response 2 - you are trying too hard to impress/convince me that you are a prize.

 

 

 

Person - I am not impressed/convinced

Response 1 - why would someone try hard to impress/convince people you tell me?

 

 

 

Person - are you trying to impress/convince me?

Response 1 - Why would I want to impress/convince you?

Response 2 - You tell me what is the point of trying hard impressing/convincing people?

 

 

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on August 17, 2021, 4:12 pm

Yeah, first of all: good analysis.

They're all attempts to self-frame as the prize, and frame you as the one who has to expand effort to make up the value imbalance.

I agree with Kevin, when you reach that point, it's possible that they are so convinced that they're prize (or so dead-set that you must chase them) that the interaction might be too far gone to fix it.
That means that if they still keep demanding you give and give without giving anything back, you should be ready to walk away.

Otherwise, all your answers are good.

Since this is not the dating section though, there can be situations when it's fair for you to convince them.
For example, if you're selling something.
Then you're better off putting your ego aside, say "fuck it" to investment, and see what you can do.

For example

Person: I am not impressed/convinced
You: but is this solution at least potentially helpful? Let me know, and if so, I'm happy to explain further

That demands them to stop playing the game and, if they're interested, to at least admit so, which re-emowers you.

Then you could turn the tables and say:

You: OK, what would convince you that this service is good for you?

But again, the best strategy depends a lot on who said those lines, in which situations, and what preceded them.

Quote from Matthew Whitewood on August 17, 2021, 7:24 pm

To brainstorm from Lucio's explanations and example, one possibility is to say

You: I like that you have high standards. (this judge frame indirectly implies that you have a high standard)
Let's be more specific. (stop playing this vague judge role game)
What are you looking for exactly? (get the person to invest)

Or

You: Let's save each other time.
What are you looking for exactly?