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Over-delivering reach-outs: big risk, bad strategy (covert guilt-tripping)

Sometimes people reach out and seek to give value.

It's always a good idea and a commendable approach.

But not always effective and adviceable.

The issue with giving value at random is that you're shooting in the dark.

And sometimes, you shoot in the wrong direction.

The issue is 10x bigger when you seek to over-deliver value.

Over-Delivering & Guilt-Tripping

Some time ago one guy sent me a PDF with all the typos he found in PU.
It was a huge work on his side, but when it comes to usefulness... Dubious.

One, by the time he finished the PDF, I might have already fixed the earlier one, or changed the structure.

Two, there is a thread for typos, which is both fresh and immediate.
Guys can see the mistake and immediately post it there -that is useful-.

Three, that thread is much easier for me because it's based on tabs on the same browsers (VS opening and closing a PDF).

The fourth issue is that many over-delivery end up being based on guilt-tripping the receiver.
And that is 10x truer when the value provided wasn't really that valuable.

Now the receiver feels obliged to reply and say "thanks" even though it's not useful.
If he doesn't reply, you think he's an asshole because you've "given so much".
And if he replies and says  "it wasn't useful" he sounds like an asshole.

A good reply will take time to craft because now he needs to tell you the truth, but make it smooth so you don't feel mistreated.

And the reply will be based on guilt-tripping, not on honest interest or gratefulness.

The over-deliverer thinks the relationship is win-win and that he has lots of social capital because of the value given.
But, in truth, he's in the negative.

And it ends up being lose-lose.

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There’s something very odd about someone going to all that work to basically correct someone else’s mistakes… asides from not being very useful, it also communicates that that they far too much time on their hands and are investing that time in identifying someone else’s errors rather than working on their own shortcomings… hmmm.... straaaange... 

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Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew Whitewood

I encounter this the most often with salespeople.

I feel that going too much in the direction of "consultative selling" can lead down this path of over-delivery.
Those salespeople feel the need to gain "a lot" of social capital before forging ahead with qualifying, etc.

I anticipated this with a freelancer recently so I decided to prevent it

Him: Before we make the contract, I’ll prepare a unique brief document for the answers to understand you and your business vision. Then I’ll make the final proposal context and the budget

Me: Thanks a lot for both the details of your process and proposing a brief document to get us on the same page.
I don't want to give any false expectations by taking up your brief document.
Will that take up a lot of your time?

Him: not much. I can share with you 1-2 hours.

I didn't want him to spend half a day preparing a document that may not add value to both of us.

Also, people use the word "unique" too much.

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Lucio Buffalmano
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