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Paying Over Asking Price?

I have a question.

Is overpaying beneficial or harmful?

Is there something in this decision that is damaging for the relationship or particularly naive.

I have a strong provider drive. If you show me loyalty or do me a service I enjoy giving to you. Even abundantly over what you ask of me in return.

I also recognize an insecurity in me about owing someone something or having something good done for me period.

I grew up poor and a minority and despise pity. Working on changing my financial standing. I'm still a minority, but working on it of course haha

I also like the power of giving above asking price. It puts me above and it is charitable.

I don't do it all the time and it depends on the relationship and service, but I will pay a bit above the asking price.

The asking price is below the actual market ask so either I'll pay them that or even over that if I feel like it.

What do you think? Is this overall doing more good or harm?

The people I've done it with always are shocked but happy and I leave happy as well. Because I could and did provide.

Examples when I've done this

  1. Friend changed my oil so I paid him well above asking price. Reasoning it was last minute and if I need him again I want a high probability of him remembering this.
  2. Bartender serves me water. 5 dollar tip. I'm 18 so it's hard enough not getting kicked out of a bar in the US plus if I'm taking space and not spending that's another minus. The five dollars makes the bartender way warmer to me and not so eager to eliminate me or cockblock me from the bar or venue. I don't and can't get drunk I just go out for punani.
  3. Dude cuts my hair. I overpay him. It's an alright haircut everyone who I meet likes it and similar reasons to my first friend.
  4. Aquaintance hits me up and asks for thirty dollars because they are stuck out and want to go home. I'm bored and that particular week I wanted to do a ton of things I'd never do and just be pure instincts. I just felt like it and gave it to her. She said she'd pay me back I severely doubted but didn't care. Felt good af that day albeit dumb. Next time I'll just give money to my niece with a daughter if I need a jump haha
  5. Got my teacher food because why not?

Thank you for your attention friend!



Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Hey Mist,

Nothing wrong with that per se.

And if done right, it's both cool, magnanimous, and can even be very high-power as some of your examples show (big tip, giving extra for the oil change).

It's pretty high-power and provides a good reputation to be known around for being the guy who's generous and happy to tip for good service.

The only risk, as you say, it's to meet someone who will take. And come back for more taking. And never give back. And maybe even harm your reputation when people know you're into a sucker's trade.
But you seem already well-aware of that risk.

You said you felt good and dumb when you lent $30.
On the other hand, you can now assess a person's character.

Giving extra is a wonderful way to assess someone's character.
And a great way to see if someone is a good collaborator, and good as a friend, closer friend / brother in arm, long term spouse, business partner, or anything that requires collaboration.

Finally, as you say, the "paying extra" doesn't necessarily need to be monetary (as you also found out with bringing food to your teacher).
For example:

  • Telling them how helpful or good their service was
  • Thanking them a lot and being extra warm / friendly
  • Saying you'll recommend them to your friends
  • Leaving a positive review online
  • Becoming their long-term customer
  • Getting to know them better (people are always happier / better off with one more friend)
  • Inviting them for something
  • Sharing good and/or helpful information
Matthew Whitewood and Mist1102 have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodMist1102
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