Polarizing Personalities - Strategic Socializing
I have come to realize that I am a very polarizing personality. I have not come to really fully understand why yet.
People really dislike me or they like me.
What would be your social strategy to deal with this? I am sorry I don't have more info to give and I have thought about how I could give more info. but the info that comes to mind would just be distracting. General answers on how to deal with it would be fine.
Edit: I am sorry I just realized I should have posted this in social skills forum.
Hey Jack,
The standard advice is that "it's often a good thing" to be polarizing.
And generally, that's true.
However, it also depends on:
- Who you polarize: say, if one is mostly liked by low-value folks while high-value ones dislike him, that's not good. Similarly, if you polarize along gender lines, for example many men like you but most women dislike you, that's also bad if you're interested in the dating/sexual market
- What's the split: if 20% like you and 80% dislike you, probably not the best split
So I'd look at those two first.
The questions are:
- Are the people you positively polarize the people you want to associate with?
- Do you end up with a bit too many enemies?
Keep in mind the general life strategy: too many enemies and too many people who want to see you fail is generally bad.
If that's the case, it might be that you're too curt / aggressive, rather than "polarizing". Some people prefer the definition "polarizer" rather than admitting they must work on themselves, so make sure it's not a cop-out.
If not, then you might be fine.