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Power abuse and trauma bonding: Alberto Salazar abuse of Mary Cain

Traumatic bonding usually refers to intimate and sexual relationships and to violent relationships.

Yet, traumatic bonding doesn't have to entail physical violence.
In some cases, a harsh boss or coach can lead to trauma bonding.
Or anyone with a strong influence on someone else can lead to trauma bonding. In Social Power I refer to the person with soft power in the interaction as "the judge" -and maybe I should come up with a more marketable name-.

When anyone in the judge position constantly demeans and criticizes, chances are high that the subordinate will develop traumatic bonding. They will suffer and hate the abuser, but still endlessly crave their approval and do anything to get it.

Mary Cain with the SOB coach Alberto Salazar is an example of traumatic bonding via emotional abuse.
And she had a very good grasp of the dynamics at play.
Listen to her:

Alberto Salazar defense was that Mary Cain sought again to join Salazar's team, implying that she was making up accusations.
Cain's going back again instead is probably the proof that Salazar is an abusive SOB.

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Traumatic bonding is a very interesting concept, similar to a drug addiction or the compulsive nature of some self destructive/risky behaviors:

From wikipedia:

"Unhealthy, or traumatic, bonding occurs between people in an abusive relationship. The bond is stronger for people who have grown up in abusive households because it seems to them to be a normal part of relationships.

Initially, the abuser is inconsistent in approach, developing it into an intensity perhaps not matched in other relationships of the victim. It is claimed the longer a relationship continues, the more difficult it is for people to leave the abusers with whom they have bonded."

Yes, it is very interesting.

Also interestingly, some dating authors who recommend borderline abusive behavior, extreme sexual domination, or highly aggressive behavior saying that "she will bond to you deeper" are sometimes promoting trauma bonding.

 

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