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Power dynamics: leaving an event after a friend
Hello guys,
Yesterday I was at a bar with a friend (I told him to join me) and he left and I took advantage of the opportunity to go home since the other people at the table were not having so much value to offer me. So the most valuable thing to do was to go to sleep.
So I said: "I'll follow and go to bed I need to rest". This is great in terms of collaboration. However it is not so good in terms of power as he appears the leader and me the follower.
Next time I'll say: "Bye man, I'm leaving in a short bit". And then leave even after 5-10 min to avoid following.
I think you could also avoid following by making clear it was your choice.
If you look at something, and happen to come to the same conclusion as someone else, you are not following even if you do the same thing at the same time, because you made the decision individually, you simply agree with the other guy.
So another option is:
You're going? (*Looks at phone*) Yes that's a good point in time to say goodbye. My beloved bed has already called me twice, so I have to go. But I wish you a great night ladies and gentlemen :)
Quote from Anon on June 18, 2022, 9:17 pmI think you could also avoid following by making clear it was your choice.
If you look at something, and happen to come to the same conclusion as someone else, you are not following even if you do the same thing at the same time, because you made the decision individually, you simply agree with the other guy.So another option is:
You're going? (*Looks at phone*) Yes that's a good point in time to say goodbye. My beloved bed has already called me twice, so I have to go. But I wish you a great night ladies and gentlemen 🙂
Yeah, this is very good.
I prefer this option.
It combines power with effectiveness (so you don't even waste 5-10 mins) and true personal choice (to do what you want to do, rather than do something else only because it's higher power).
Another simpler option:
Yeah, come to think of it, should also get going
So that's a self-generated choice, and the other person leaving was more like the cue that made you go down that path, rather than the main reason.
Thanks guys!
